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Doorway to hell

Sickening bolts of time,
freezing on the spot.
Dwelling in unopened bliss,
of how long they've got.

If they knew the truth
of something so divine.
Everyday of their life
would be a special time.

To the few mysterious souls
who know their days well.
Number them to prevent
the opening of your hell.

Author notes

Please don't ask what I was thinking there, for I have no idea! But the words to your contest inspired it.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • EmeraldDreams
    December 4, 2008

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    Wow, a very dramatic and powerful piece. So dark, yet almost with a glimpse of hope at the end. Great write!


    • LadyDementia gold member
      December 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      This is one of the first dark ones I did! How the heck did ya find it! Thanks


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Holy ... Mommy this write is fantastic.. this is goes in my fav section.. I have a separate one just for your writes.. and the bg goes perfectly with it..

    kat


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow took me in like I was absorbing hell
    A brilliant poem hun
    And the background is wonderful, the girl fits perfectly and blends well into this poem...
    Julie


  • Wolf Mancini
    June 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Mmmm!

    I think you may be related to H.P. Lovecraft


  • CherryOnTop
    November 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow!! Deep and full of drama and intensity. This one scared me to. "Number them to prevent
    the opening of your hell." So very powerful indeed!


  • opaqueangel
    November 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very interesting peice you have submitted here. I must say that I was most intregued by the last line:"the opening of your hell". This suggests trhat there is a belief that hell is an induvidual experience for every one, which to me makes perfect sence because what is the worst thing to possibly happen to one person may be not so bad to another. I really enjoyed what you have done with this peice. It is very short and it leaves the reader thinking and wondering in much the same way I am now. Greatr write and good luck kin the contest!


  • penman gold member
    September 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting.

    Very vivid writing. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Mad Pastor Grovell
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Please don't ask what you were thinking there, for I have no idea! But the words to my contest inspired it. Great stuff! God bless and try not to go to Hell.

1 - 9 of 9