Like small crystal butterflies
morning’s mist turned dew
lands down
on the bench.
I can't sit.
In the park’s corner
bushes, naked like a blushing bride,
offer my eyes every one of their glorious curves,
while foliage heavy with harvest’s gold
floats down to take a rest there, where we’ve once been,
onto the bed of ground
covered with scents of innocence and fertility.
Wet whispers murmur under my feet,
a leaf dressing the colors of your eyes lands on my palm
and I see you again,
and I feel again... your September touch.
Author notes
C.
Autumn
5
Autumn colors
my own style - poem inside a poem
In a list
A contest entry
- PIF Contest ~ Simplicity by Namita.
300 points, ended October 1, 2007, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Autumn Writes by B Chandler.
900 points, ended October 28, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Seasonal Love. by Poetryintheblood.
525 points, ended March 1, 2008, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All those forms and styles (Quicky) by Meroza.
850 points, ended September 14, 2008, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - -SPING/SUMMER/WINTER/AUTUMN-season contest-PW allowed- by Heva Feva.
675 points, ended October 15, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
This is so cool! I really like this bit:
"Like small crystal butterflies
morning’s mist turned dew "
Thank you so much for entering my contest, I love your poem! Good luck...
-heva
-
Nicely done in your own poem within a poem form. I see it has garnered you many pretty shineys as well, great job to get the Gold in this latest contest...Scott
-
This is amazing. A very clever way of writing, I admire that.
The two poems fit so well with each other, still it gives a separate perspective and feel.
Well done and thanks for entering -
It seems that the seasons bring out the best in people there is just something special in the descriptions that are very souls relate to touching emotions that lay often lay dormant until we take on Nature...
Cyber Artist
-
Thank you for your beautiful entry,good luck, Josie
-
What can I say?
This is an absolutely beautiful write. ...."your September touch" perfect!
Write on!
*PEACE*
-
simply beautiful, wonderful experience for the reader to see through your eyes, to be shown the meaning of simple things...PK
-
**
Hi:
This is a wonderful piece.....
Thank you for entering our contest,
and good luck to you.....
AngelicMistress...Tanya
&
B.Chandler
-
Something tells me this is Sonja... such a marvellous beautry this piece is...
~Candy
-
-
So, you already can recognize my poetry?
Thanks for trophy sweet Candy.
~Sonja~
-
-
another class...
each stanza a small masterpiece, words hesitating between life as a metaphor and life as reality, some divine expressions like the “bushes, naked like a blushing bride... curves” are simply another class of expressions. outstanding
-
Amazing! The sound and breathing within this piece is absolute. Fantastic imagery.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest.
VIRGOAN
-
Tis was soft and sweet and very soft spoken of love
You took the bench and the flower and made a beautiful tale os how love is in the fall at harvest times in which our people call it Indian Summer. The beauty of life as each seasons changes you remember all those time before and want more. I love this sis
Love you & miss you
Morningstar
-
"Wet whispers murmur under my feet,
a leaf dressing the colors of your eyes lands on my palm
and I see you again,
and I feel again... your September touch."
Your poetry is always so delicate and beautiful...this is lovely
-
Lovely verse of September shimmer drifting bench enhancing mind in stretching shadow...lovely my friend
-
Outstanding
This made me think of autumn. I love the background. Maybe I can't sit for the grammer. I liked the way you combined images of the park with romantic undertones and ending the poem with a sense of intimacy. This is a sophisticated poem full of natural imagery that links nature and love. Another great poem.
-
Simply beautiful,September is awesome but your words paint,a more serene picture,of aurumns colors,good luck in the contest, mm
-
"and I feel again... your September touch."...that is beautiful, my friend... I know of a September touch too (long ago, in my previous life..but it was as beautiful and filled with such softness and beauty as this poem of yours is). The "blushing brides" made my thoughts travel too as we have wildflowers here in South Africa called "blushing brides"... I had them in my bouquet when I first got married. Lovely poetry and good luck in the contest!
~ Nicolette
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
