Infinitude~ Senryu
Suspended in life
I am a leaf floating in
The water fountain
Author notes
What is infinity?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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truly lovely. wonderul image shared.
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Terrific poem and picture! Great word choice and rhythm. My only suggestion would be to move "in" to the last line. He seemed lonely to me at the end of the line. It's interesting to read it in either position. In the third line there's suspense, I think. In the fourth floating is emphasized.
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I can see what you mean with your poem, it's wonderful.
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Concise yet deep....
Hey, I see that you're still putting out solid material, I'm continuing my epic with condensed lyrics.....anyway, well done and keep it up
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lovely and evocative in both word and art choices.
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Touching
With such a short composition you have written an enlightening statement of truth. The images you used are perfect for sending the message you wished to convey without being overpowering. I found myself becoming a leaf as well and I wonder how it effects this poem if there are many leaves floating in the water?
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beautiful... such an imaginative
and clear interpretation of infinity... the likening very poignant and thought provoking... quite powerful for so few words!
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I love Indian lore
Great piece with the baby Ghnesh.
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Dear Nannar
Write me a song of life!
Please! You know you can!
Jane
A carpet and a princess
and a dream or two?
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I love that word "infinitude." As much as poetry reading has become a practice of solitude for me, it is by reading that poetry lives and lasts through each reader to infinity.
I also like the personal note that this haiku has struck within me...But to live and float to that Fountain of Youth as a leaf in time.
Lovely writing, Jane--And needless to say, very thought-provoking too!
Jo
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Are we more than just human?.I often wonder.This was beautiful and you make a few words provoke the mind and give beauty.
Helen
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a leaf ...
I salute you Jane for such a eternal poetry ..you did a great job here..in three simple lines..you created a creation..well done my friend..
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