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Lost and alone, you scream

Missing image

 Lost and alone, you scream

But your cries go unheard

For your voice is silenced

By the fear you realise is true 

Light just doesn’t shine anymore

Darkness kills not just your soul

But your shadows too

You just don’t exist anymore 

What you had is long gone

Stripped of breath you suffocate

In a subliminal hole of sombre starkness

You lay, but no sleep is being had 

Nightmares become the norm

Even during the day hours without light

You crawl upward or so you think

For the darkness has thrown your guidance 

You scratch at the surface of freedom

Only to find it’s the walls of hell

Breaking through only to another chasm

Of nothingness 

Yes scream if you want to

Cry louder if you like

But you my friend

Have become the devil’s companion 

You decided what path to follow

You didn’t listen to reason

Now you see the outcome

Of your own bodies treason 

So scream all day if need be

Cry at the top of your voice

But you took the substance they offered

And that was your own deathly choice.

        

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt:
long way back from hell.

2nd attempt. but still trying all the same.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • whyspr gold member
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    oh my dark dark dark and shivery! Drugs, ugh, Im amazed at how many people get into that cycle. It's a sad waste of life isnt it? My ex was a pot head and even that had its affect on him. I will never believe it's not addictive.


  • AnnD Moderators member
    January 29, 2008

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    oooooh this is a very dark and hard hitting write. The truth revealed to the junkie in full force. If only they actually had this realisation before they started down that journey. It is so pitiful.
    Good post my friend.

    Ann


  • B Chandler
    December 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    UNDER CONSIDERATION. Please leave your entry in the contest


  • sexykitty
    November 16, 2007
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    i really like this


  • JustSimplyLissa gold member
    November 15, 2007
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    This is one incredible piece. So dark and yet so riviting! Totally Awesome!! Love it!


  • Kari gold member
    November 15, 2007

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    wow ! this was really creepy but..I actually can relate to it...congrats on your hm here. Very well done!


  • Fulabeans
    November 11, 2007

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    Holly Pancakes

    this is awesome!!!! omg this is like my fav poem on this site right now! you have so much talent! I only hope that as the years roll by I may aspire to your level of skill


    • Silent Cougar Moderators member
      November 11, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      anytime you fancy a hand just shout, would like to see more from writers like this.

      Thanks for reading this one tho, it's different. But worth the read. cheers.


  • lexy23
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you have quirky style and I love it! It's so unique and unusal, like your profile page its veru individual and I like how I've come across someone different. (Also you're the first person that I've seen on here from Scotland- I am half scottish my dad being a total glaswegian)
    But anyhow, keep up the good stuff! You're brilliant!!


    Lexy xx


    • Silent Cougar Moderators member
      November 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Lexy..

      this is only the third or fourth of the darker side.. never thought I could produce anything worthy, but you can only try.

      Glad it got your attention.


  • Dragons Lady
    October 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Oh I dearly love this one. So dark and eerie. To scream and not be heard is an awful feeling at best. To have chosen that path and then realize it was the wrong one. Wow. You have captured the essence of horror in this write. I love it. Thank you for sharing.


  • nichtmich silver member
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oooh! "The mills of the gods grind slowly, yet they grind exceedingly small." I take it this is the drug addicts life and afterlife. Darkness kills your soul and shadow ~ nightmare becomes the norm. Eerie images come to mind. I like the large and smaller font, like Stephen King's echo thoughts in the back of your mind. A wonderful read.


    • Silent Cougar Moderators member
      October 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for dropping by. Yes indeed, a small peep at an addicts circumstances led me to write this. I'd watched a couple sorting themselves out, he, struggled like mad to grasp the situation but just couldn't. I felt for him in a way, then when this promt came up, I just wrote what I thought over the minutes I watched him. Sad really, but it seems more everyday now.


  • Stardust-luvr
    September 27, 2007

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    well done dear this still puts fire into brimstones like in my last comment with the intensity it exudes xoxoxo well done and best wishes xoxoxoxo


  • Tattboyspet
    September 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for your entry


  • Amera gold member
    September 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is well done in the dark genre with vivid image and good flow and verbiage. You asked me for a critical critique with no holds barred. Sooo… Ok!

    You have a wonderful grasp of writing dark but in my opinion this poem could be much better. This poem presents a condemning air about it and that is subjective. I would rewrite this poem making it introspective and irrefutable. To do that, write it in the first person. In other words you be the bad guy and scare the crap out of people.

    L4 the word “realize” is spelled wrong
    L9 the word “somber” is British spelling not international

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Vienna110
    September 20, 2007

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    such feeling and i love it...it makes me feel all the things i think about...if that makes sense...very good job;


  • poeticweaver gold member
    September 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow,

    Another piece, a wee bit in a different direction, but awesome for the given prompt! Oh, and congrates on the HM bro. Very well versed, and it captured my attention indeed... That head going up in smoke could of had something to do with it. This just shows me, you can pen on many topics, which I think is great.. because it gets old penning the same old things...except for love.. lol.. Again my friend, great job!

    Peace, brother Timothy


  • Glasyalabolas
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a fantastic take on the prompt used. As with all good writes, this piece can be taken as a very personal piece by the writer, can be viewed metarphorically and is worded in such a way that makes it not only resonate with the reader, but the reader can find a lot in the piece that they themselves can personally identify with.

    Good write.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Mike, you could have been writing about my life, or parts of it, except the last two lines which are not relevant to me.
    A wonderful (if that's the right term) and deep write, and you have captured the trip to hell.
    A great take on the prompt...Sue


  • Marctheman
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great write my friend, people sometimes do as the please, not thinking of the price the will pay in the future, selling your soul is easily done a lot more then we realize.

    great piece


  • Stardust-luvr
    September 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    intense my dear friend - you sure know how to write and send tingles down my spine (NO not those kind of tingles THIS TIME tho i do enjoy those from you immensely -lol lol) but the tingles sparked by deep dark reflectons of life gone bad fighting to find the way back to the light. well done and best wishes xxx


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    OOOOOOOOOO WOW! This poem is so sad,but yet distinct in showing your strength in this post,hell bound,but hurry turn around lol life is so much better,wtg~!!
    MM


  • Lost-Rose-Petal
    September 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow....creepy...all u need is the horror music to go with it lol. Awesome write!
    MINDIE


  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    September 16, 2007

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    This feels like where I am right at this very minute.... every word struck a chord in my heart and I looked outside to see if perhaps you were there looking in at my life..... I'm sad that this resembles the way life can be.... but you have written it so perfectly hun

    Karen


  • YoursTrulyJulie gold member
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great write. Why do I get the feeling that this has a relevant message? If so...so be it! Best of luck in this contest

1 - 26 of 26