Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

A Gift and A Curse

 


A mighty swift sword
takes a blatant swipe
through the Heavens
and earth
as poets cry out
in one sweet song,
and quills scream
across parchments
and ink cascades
into resplendent seas.

 

If demons roared
and eagles soared,
a poet has captured it
in beauteous psalm
raised to crowds
who've forgotten lore
and wept briny tears,
dabbing crimson eyes.

 

Indelible characters
tatooed on hearts,
swollen egos
and tortured minds...

 

'tis the gift,
'tis the curse...

 

...of a poet.

Author notes

The POW

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • Sweet Jane
    February 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great poem and good job.


  • captain howdy
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    congrats on yourHM! This was wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • poeticweaver gold member
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome Piece My Friend. Very well versed, and you always captivate me with your talented soul. Thanks for sharing you, and congrates on the HM. Peace, Peace, Timothy aka poeticweaver~


    • pattyann4500
      September 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, Timothy. I think my muse dropped this one little bomb and ran away again.


  • Arizona Sunset
    September 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    a wonderful entry, and a joy to read, I enjoyed the imagery, congrats on your HM


    • pattyann4500
      September 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I really appreciate your kind comment. Hugs, Patricia


  • Taur-amandil silver member
    September 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    amazing!

    This is amazing! I love it! The flow and images are perfect, sis. I love this one so much!

    • pattyann4500
      September 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Sis. Only one brilliant one is all I'm allowed these days. Then my muse forces me to suffer through a few more humilliating ones before she return. Grubby little raggamuffin!


  • luckynsincere
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    OMG! This is simply brillant! I love this WOW! How true is this... You are going to do very very well in this contest Of that I am certain. You wording was swift and powerful... cutting to the core! BRILLANT!!! Good luck to you.

    Mel

    • pattyann4500
      September 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Mel. I got HM for this. I guess that's pretty good in this contest. It's back to the old quill and chain for me. Hugs, Patricia


  • trista gold member
    September 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This strikes me as a very "clean" write. The vocabulary isn't overdone, yet incorporates wonderful imagery and emotion that nearly any poet should be able to relate to. Those first two stanzas are a little tough to take in without a pause, but overall this is outstanding.

    • pattyann4500
      September 16, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, trista. I wrote the first two stanzas as they would have a slight pause at the end of each line. Otherwise I would have had to use far too many commas, and I didn't want to separate them into another sentence. I appreciate your honest critique on my work. Patricia

      • trista gold member
        September 17, 2007

        Edit | Reply
        You did a great job, and it looks like you've added a couple of commas after this was scored. I think they are well placed and slow this down just the perfect bit. Congrats on the HM!

        ~J.


  • Arkbear gold member
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very nice entry ~

    ....hmm....what have we become???

     

    The life of a Poet...Arrrg!

     

    hehe ~

     

    Best read thus far.....however....to read those first two stanzas in one breath is a challenge for us ex-smokers !

     

    LOL

     

    ...but...it's do-able ~

     

     

    I am not fond of leaving out punc.'s....even if it is your style ~

     

    Love the background....impressed to say the least ~

     

    The visions you spilled are strong ~

     

    The Title could have used a bit more thought ~

     

    ......lines 5-14 are genius ~

     

    You forgot to place the POW in your Authors' Notes.....as there is a reason for this....but it will not be revealed until the POY!

     

    Overall....this is a great write ~

     

    Here is how I see this write ~

     

    Good luck Poet!

     

     

    Bear ~

     

    Title   9.0

    Flow   9.6

    Depth   9.8

    Theme   10

    Feelings   9.2

    Grammar   9.7

    Presentation 10

    Uncommonness   9.7

    Sit & Ponder Affect   10

    Ability to follow Rules   9 

    Bears Score:   96.0

    • pattyann4500
      September 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Arkbear. I am pleased this is scored so highly. I did add a little punctuation and placed POW in the author comments. I appreciate the honor of being in this contest. I missed the last one because I had a couple of lines too many. I can write, but I never said I could count. LOL Patricia


  • LadyDementia gold member
    September 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, good luck!


  • paullallady silver member
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "If demons roared
    and eagles soared
    a poet has captured it
    in beauteous psalm
    raised to crowds
    who've forgotten lore
    and wept briny tears
    dabbing crimson eyes."

    brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Such a pleasure to read.

    • pattyann4500
      September 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Sis. This has been one of the most rewarding pieces for me. When I read it back, I even feel really good about it. Hugs, Patricia

  • Arizona Sunset
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    a poet does capture many things, and with pen in hand they become weapons of our choice Wonderful poem, thank you for sharing

    • pattyann4500
      September 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comment. We poets have more power than we think at times. Of course, some of us just come on here to play.


  • MargaretG
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Our culture has forgotten history - if it is old, it must be obsolete - and with it goes so much beauty and idealism. Why strive, if there is nothing there? I think you evoke that great goal here, there ARE heights of knowledge and emotion which we can express.
    One phrase I did not like is "reddened orbs" - otherwise the wording is emphatic.

    • pattyann4500
      September 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Margaret. I changed the phrase to "crimson eyes." I do hope that fits better. I do appreciate your feedback on my work. It is honest and always helpful. Hugs, Patricia


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome!

    Oh wow. This is so beautiful. I loved the BG, too. You did an excellent job on the imagery.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • Griswold gold member
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely done PattyAnn, a wonderfully flowing and so true poem of being a poet. Best of luck to you...Scott

1 - 27 of 27