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Shadows Lurk

 

 

 

Shadows lurk in the distant trees
matching each step leaves me ill at ease,
eyes shining through darkness of lost souls
unrelenting torture their main goal.

Stench of death I am inhaling
walking faster I hear such wailing,
flapping wings swooping down attacking
up ahead I can hear them smacking,
taste of blood gives them all such pleasure
these dark creatures have found their treasure.

Awaken me from this grotesque dream
walking toward me his black eyes gleam,
feeling his teeth sink into my neck
what made me go for this late night trek.

My fate revealed as I took to flight
searching for mortals in the hush of night,
a soulless creature I have become
I wish to die, please let me succumb,
seep into the earth as chilling rain
destroying this evil unending pain.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Sunkissed xo
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Gosh, wow, this is a very intense poem. It is written very well, and the rhythm is great. It's very dark and deep, and stands out very strongly to readers.
    An interesting read. Thanks for entering

    Katie


  • Never Fall in Love
    March 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really like this one - as you probably already know, dark writes are my favourite. I found your flow and rhyme to be smooth and the content reflecting various parts of different dreams - some which I don't even understand myself

    Never ♥


  • ScarletO gold member
    October 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh I am so sceered after reading this one with "I wish to die, please let me succumb" and "Awaken me from this grotesque dream
    walking toward me his black eyes gleam,
    feeling his teeth sink into my neck"

    You have some enthralling imagery within this poem. I surely see why you have won the gold on this one. It is a great story too.


  • Desire gold member
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Moly!!

    Powerful piece Beautiful and Congratulations on Your trophy win!!
    Wooooooooooo Hoooooooooooooo


    Each stanza kept me at the edge of my seat
    Wow!!
    Normally I don't refer to a whole stanza
    but this one just grabbed!! Hard...
    Stench of death I am inhaling
    walking faster I hear such wailing,
    flapping wings swooping down attacking
    up ahead I can hear them smacking,
    taste of blood gives them all such pleasure
    these dark creatures have found their treasure.

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent!!
    Best wishes to You Sweet Soul
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    October 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Oh..and congrats on the Gold...but I think it deserved it

  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    October 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...scared, wanting to die....I don't know if I can walk tonight on the street all by myself Do you think there are Vampires here too

    Great write
    XXJeannette


    • Ethereal One gold member
      October 1, 2007

      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Jeannette

      Did it scare you? LOLOL They do have a lot of vampires in Europe don't they? OMG...I am going nutty here. Well, Dracula was from Transylvania, and had an accent, so I just figured he was from Bavaria or some place like that.

      Seriously though, I do appreciate your kind comments and congratulations on this poem.

      Love & Hugs,
      Jeannette


  • Glasyalabolas
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like this piece. Well worded, giving off a good air of darkness. Very morbid, with no hope and no peaceful ending.

    Good write and congrats on gold.


    • Ethereal One gold member
      October 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      thank you

      Thanks so much for reading this poem. I appreciate your kind words and congrats.

      Jeannette


  • MargaretG
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very dark and spooky, with plenty of imagery, and your poetic skill is good. Congratulations on your gold trophy.


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    September 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    excellent~

    I could just see the swaying breeze of the Spanish Moss and the tombstones as I read this eerie poem sis..
    You have protrayed some wonderful imagery in this chilling poem
    Best of luck in the contest...
    Hugs
    Your sis
    Susan~~~

  • Lady Dragonwyck
    September 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is shivery good. Very well told and quite a good ending. Good luck in this contest.

    Lady Dragonwyck


  • Sidra Sabella
    September 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    vampirism?thats the vibe i got. the rhyme scheme is very good, and i like the mood you set.

  • CrimsonLullaby
    September 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderfully Creepy

    I love this. It gave me chills, the good creepy kind. It is dark and I absolutely love it. You should write more like this.

  • Acidanthra
    September 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hey this was great! I loved how you used your words to send your reader fear, anxiety, hopelessness, and wanting to die. Very well written!!


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    September 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What incredible rhythm and flow! And the imagery! Yikes! You have written a very scary story..the kind right from a nightmare!! Awesome! Thank you for entering and good luck.

    Jeannie


    • Ethereal One gold member
      September 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Jeannie!

      I appreciate your kind comments on this poem.

      Ethereal One

  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    September 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    excellent~

    This is different than your usual poems sis...
    But I loved it...now it makes me want to go out and buy a scary book...yeah right with a $1.22 cents roflol
    The imagery alone in this one is amazing...
    You have do so well here and this is a winner in my book
    Best of luck in the contest...
    Hugs
    Your sis
    Susan~~~


  • superstition
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    To go from the prey to the captive predator. I love the scene you were able to bring across here, and myself being one who loves horror movies, I really enjoyed reading this poem! Makes me want to kick back with a good vampire movie a little later.

    "seep into the earth as chilling rain"

    That line absolutely blew me away!! Such a powerful image comes to mind with those words. Excellent.

    • Ethereal One gold member
      September 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you Valerie

      What can I say? I was watching an old Vincent Price movie, taken from Poe's short story, The Pit and the Pendulum, over the weekend.
      When I was growing up we saw a lot of those type horror movies at the Saturday Matinee. Vincent Price scared me to death! No wonder all of us baby boomers are so strange. lololol Well, not all of us.

      I am glad you enjoyed reading this one.

      Ethereal

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