Knocking on Death’s Door
I feel the pain in my chest
Of the air not entering my lungs.
How long can I stay afloat?
Will this be how it all ends?
The devil had me in his grasp
Knocking on Death’s Door.
I fell in the seat gasping
A fish out of water in clean air.
My life being sucked from me
A prayer seeps from my lips.
My eyes are totally glazed
Knocking on Death’s Door.
My heart beat rising in my chest
Short breaths I try to take in
Jagged lights surround me
I fight for my life in pain.
Will this be the last thing I see?
Knocking on Death’s Door.
The sounds of whimpering panic
As medics arrive in the dark.
Hands and voices upon me
Air being forced into my mouth.
I can hear the creaking hinges,
Knocking on Death’s Door.
The sounds of the ambulance
Racing through winding streets.
Questions surround me in haste.
Flashing lights rotate outside.
I can feel you on the other side
Knocking on Death’s Door.
The ER awaits in a weak light.
Yelling instructions in the halls.
My visions becomes clearer.
I feel I may win this fight.
I stop myself from drifting.
Knocking on Death’s Door.
You can’t have me this time
For you open only to the lost.
I’m not ready to be taken in
Not this night will I be yours.
My knuckles stop pounding
Knocking on Death’s Door.
Author notes
Last Wednesday night 9/12/07 I was rushed to the hospital from all things a sinus infection. I truly felt like a fish out of the water not being able to catch my breath. Somehow I survived. I just got home today 9/15. How close we are to deaths door.
A contest entry
- Temporary Disability by Judith Chandler.
600 points, ended July 23, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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That's pretty scary. I'm glad you are all right and able to write about. It seemed a bit long to me though I see it's only four lines over my limit.
Thank you for your submission. -
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Thank you for considering my poem in the contest. It was real scary. Sorry bout the length.
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Scary
I am reminded of being caught under a malfunctioning fire extinguisher at a gas station. As myself and my car were covered with white powder, the air was stripped of oxygen.
The stuff of life for mammals and fire,
had been denied, twas my main desire.
Stepping quickly to the convience store,
the smell of curry, oxygen galore.
Apologies with a heavy accent,
delivered quickly as my lungs were spent.
True, we will never know of our last breath;
prefer not to knock on the door of death.
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Wow very scary experience you had. Yeah this was something I will not soon forget. Thanks for your comment and applause. Always appreciate it.
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Death's Door
It seems all of us end up writing about his |or| her door. I am sorry you were rushed to the hospital, they are evil places. I think this is an amazing piece, and I think this is going to end up a song...It has all the flow of a lyrical work...wonderful my friend!
Luna.
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Thanks Luna for reading and commenting on this write. It was a very scary time for me. Always appreciate hearing from you. Thanks again,
Charley
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Excellent
Oh my goodness.
I hope you are okay CK.
I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you.
Keep up with the great work.
Keep on penning.
*S* Cynthia -
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Thank you Cynthia, yeah this was a very scary moment in my life. Don't want to relive that any time soon.
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So very true!
In the instance we accept this fact, is the very moment, we are free to live at last!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for writing this... and I say I am so very happy that now you are aware of this, and well!!!!!! Great write, and as I have stated, an experience that you now know, to be so very true
~ James ~
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Thank you for reading and commenting James. Yes this was a very scary moment in my life. Thanks again for reading.
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Thank you Beks for reading and commenting. It was scary. Glad you enjoyed reading it.
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I loved how you repeated the same line throughout the whole piece
it gave it a great touch
It's good to hear you're home and safe again
I likes this
it's good
=]
keep writing
you're good at it
Beks
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A wonderful poem Charley
I almost drowned when I was little
the things I felt and saw I'll never forget.
Roses to you
Teresa
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Thanks Teresa for reading and commenting. yes, it is so scary. Its no fun struggling for air.
Love ya,
Charley
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Well done
Breathing had not been an effort, alas
Until one day while pumping my cab gas
There`s a malfunction in fire prevention
All of a sudden; cursed with consumption.
Falling from above, a coke addicts dream
White powder you see is not what it seems
Scooping all the oxygen from the air
This belongs to me, was not even fair
Looked down at my chest as it rose and fell
To no avail, my thought was; 'What the hell'
Into the gas station; I did proceed
Complaining that there was no air to breathe
'Very sorry, that you have such a thirst
You are not Iraqi, you must be pay first.'
---------------------------------------------------
Please excuse me, as my muse took control as I gathered
my thoughts for your critique..I found your poem to be an exciting read as we traveled to and from Death`s Door. I am happy that you survived will be around for more great poetry.
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Thank you Bob for reading and commenting it is much appreciated. It was a very scary thing to happen to me.
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Oh my gosh, how terrifying! This reminds me much of an asthma attack (my worst ever) I had as a teenager; although my experience wasn't life-threatening as yours was, I can well understand the panic of not being able to draw or release breath, of only being able to let out a feeble whimper. You are blessed to have survived! The phrasing you chose well follows the way one's thoughts might flow in such a situation.
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Thanks very much for reading and commenting. This was a very scary thing to happen to me. I appreciate your thoughts.
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This must have been terrifying for you. I am very very happy that you are well and recovering now. I love you so much. Your poem is a reminder that no one knows when the end will come. Very well written sexy boy. I am still very worried about you. Keep writting.
Love always your midnight lover and best friend,
Guin
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Thanks Guin for being there for me. It really meant a lot, thanks for reading and commenting.
Lots of Love
Charley
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Wow. That sounds scary. I'm glad you survived. I would be sad if I were to log in today to find out that one of my favorite poets wasn't here anymore. ): There was strong emotion expressed in this piece and I liked the title of this piece. It reminded me of that song "Knocking on Heaven's Door". I hope you stay healthy.
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Thanks Haley. Yes it was scary. We never know when it could happen. Yes that song was rolling in my head when I wrote this. Thanks for caring!!!
Lots of Love,
Charley
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