In autumn brilliance of reds and golds
summers wishes cannot stay the day
and brace of cooling fresh air unfolds
as the sun kissed world turns slowly away.
Summers wishes cannot stay the day
my thoughts delight in sight and feeling
as the sun kissed world turns slowly away
woodlands dawn to rainbowed revealing
my thoughts delight in sight and feeling
faint on the doorstep of hardy frost
woodlands dawn to rainbowed revealing
for this passing beauty is too soon lost.
Faint on the doorstep of hardy frost
and brace of cooling fresh air unfolds
for this passing beauty is too soon lost;
in autumn brilliance of reds and golds.
In a list
A contest entry
- Change of Season - 100 entries I'll give out 2050 Points 56 more to go by Florida Sunshine.
625 points, ended October 5, 2007, 41 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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such a pretty rhyme schem, and a full quarter of life within four stanzas.
quite a feat.
nice, very nice.
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Just got your comments on the contest as I opened the page to respond to the next poem...yours.
It's difficult to keep from second guessing myself after one of these contests, since when I look again at the entries, there is always something more to see.
The pantoum is a fine form for what the poem wants to do--explore the repeating but never-quite-the-same visual effects of the season. You work well with image/language, selecting words that add to both meaning and music. This is a poem that reads well aloud (I printed out the entries and read them to my wife in the car as we went to lunch this afternoon); it invites a revelling in sound and sense.
Thanks for the work that went into it and for entering.
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The flow of this piece glided perfectly off my lips. I enjoyed the imagery as I read. You held me from start to finish~ Nice job overall!
Thanks for entering my season contest ~ good luck to you!
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This is exactly how I feel about autumn. I like the way you repeat each line. It adds to the poetic rhythm and makes the whole poem seem almost dreamy.
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1 - 5 of 5
