Liquid
refreshment quenches
thirst,knowledge requires
sustenance through aptitude and
a willingness to learn the fine art of
concentration and absorption,
soaking up, retaining
forms, as perfect
liquid.
Author notes
POW
Rictameter.
In a list
A contest entry
- The POW by Arkbear.
500 points, ended September 16, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Very nice! Love your words "aptitude and/a willingness to learn" as a basis for gaining knowledge. Nice metaphor with 'thirst'. Appropriate title. Possibly syllable count off line 2? Congrats on the HM in POW!
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Wonderful job with your Rictameter, enjoyed reading your poem, thank you for sharing
Congrats on your hm
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Thank you, delighted that you enjoyed it
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This is a poem I could sit and ponder for a fair amount of time. I feel there is more meaning here than at first meets the eye, yet it isn't spelled out, making the reader think about what is being said. You did a good job with the form. I'm not a huge fan of manipulating the spacing to make that perfect diamond, but your adjustments were minimal. The title seems to lack a certain "punch", yet it is fitting... For the POW, I would have liked to see more and more vivid imagery, but all in all I feel this is a very solid write.
Best wishes,
~J.
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Thank you Trista, for your critique. I am trying hard with this form and need more practice but overall I am pleased with the way they are going. The mistake with the spacing was unintentional but I do need to tighten up the shape and also content. Many thanks once again for your kindness
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Nice Ric ~
...hmmm....I am beginning to not like the syllable counter I gave you...hehe ~
However....since it is the one I offered....then
I will allow some of the lines to
be accepted ~
...for example....lines 2 & 3 are weird in count ~
....but the counter says it right....so I have to let it go ~
OK....for your review....very nice ~
I don't accept the 3 spaces between certain words to create an
aesthetic appeal for the sake of the form ~
...*thirst....knowledge*...
I am pleased that you keep entering pieces of uncommonness ~
In other words....keep doing what you're doing....but be careful when using Forms.....as they are my fav....yet they can also become *out of place* in the POW ~
We need to remember....poetic form can be found in *Formed Poetry*.....and in
this case....you pulled it off with just 50 short syllables..........impressed ~
A very thought provoking write with only a few lines to spill Ink ~
Here are the other areas you are familiar with..>>>
Bear ~
Title 9.7..the Form is next to you Title.....that's what the Authors Notes are for :)
Flow 9.3
Depth 9.4
Theme 9.6
Feelings 8.5
Grammar 8.9
Presentation 9.7
Uncommonness 9.7
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.8
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 94.6
PS...Yes....I know Poets place the Form next to their Title so they can find them easier in the future.....but you can always edit that later....and not have it in when it is being Judged :)
Good score ~
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Thank you Arkbear for your honesty, as always, very much appreciated. I shall endeavour to continue to perfect this form, if not always in the POW
It still fasinates me with its shape and syllable count ( I also thought the count wrong but the wordcount said no) I shall enter again as I do enjoy the challenge p.s. Many thanks for the HM
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