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Unforgiving

Raging tides
crash to shore
in dangerous waves
as the heavens blue
are turned to black.

 

An angry sea
which is no longer calm
threatens much more
than mere havoc
and the wrath
which is to come.

 

New fury fights its way
over rocks and crags
eroding the perseverance
of what was once mighty.

 

A heavy stone plucked
as if a fragile flower
taken from its home
into the arms
of the ravaging foam
out to an unforgiving blanket
of verdant sea.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Katyv
    September 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    The picture is very beautiful. Nice imagery and nice metaphor. I really like this poem a lot.


  • leo2
    September 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It's easy to make the connection between a stormy ocean and the rising tide of anger that swells within all of us from time to time. A lovely presentation you have here my friend. Congratulations on the bronze.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • paullallady silver member
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "New fury fights its way
    over rocks and crags
    eroding the perseverance
    of what was once mighty"

    what an amazing piece of writing. Your imagery was wonderful and you really made me "feel" the power. great job.


    • pattyann4500
      September 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Sis. I was thinking my muse had gone. It's always a lovely pleasure to hear from you. Love, Patricia


  • debilynn gold member
    September 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow! what a powerful write. strong emotion and vivid imagery. i love the background also! thanks for sharing this. keep writing sis! God bless you always

    • pattyann4500
      September 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Sis. Although I hold no anger for anyone, I certainly recall what it can do to a person wh holds it so dear to themselves. I appreciate your lovely comment. Love, Patricia


  • MargaretG
    September 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I have recently been reading about the necessity of forgiveness, and here you underline the consequences of not letting anger dissipate. This is a terrible storm, which does not pass on its own. I don't know why you mention (stanza 3) "one scampers away" when the subject is the raging sea. Overall, you have great rhythm and driving momentum, full of emotion.

    • pattyann4500
      September 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Margaret. I'll have to look at the third stanza and make a change. I remember this kind of anger. It's not a pretty sight.


  • Tangled Angle
    September 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Intense emotion. Exactly what I was looking for in the contest, in fact this even better. Win or lose, this was stellar.


  • layla.
    September 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely stunning!

1 - 12 of 12