If only this image was not really here
You would feel the tenderness of our intimacy
No blanketed emotions like it wasn’t there
No further interruptions of complacency
With no packaged initiation of foreplay
No artificial thoughts of transparency
No interlude to float minds astray
Just sensual feelings or normalcy
If only this image was not really here
I would dive within your sensual pool
No inhibitions of doubt no thoughts of care
You would sanction every sensual rule
As you skin welcomes this new sensation
This image is just a sense of security
Embracing this true realization
As we cash in this sexual annuity
Author notes
The image is a condom so you know what has to be talking.
A contest entry
- Sensual extremes of personification by Swan song.
1800 points, ended September 16, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Very clever and well written poem I enjoyed this very much You put some time into this that is for sure
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((smile))
Thanks so much - it made me think for a few days
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Excellent rhythm and rhyme, and I love the imagery within the 2nd and 3rd stanzas. Considering who (or what?) is the speaker, I had to smile. My only question is with the first line of the 4th stanza. It might need to be reworded. Overall, an enjoyable, sensual piece.
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See - I have to keep you close by. You are exactly right Thanks again for your useful input. I'm on my way.
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Nice personification, but it isn't very clear as to what you are personifying... the only way I knew you were actually trying to personify something was through your author notes. It also seems to me that your structure takes from what you have written. If you were to skip rhyme I think you could make this whole piece better... or use the words differently? maybe some different words? Pretty nice over all but seems like it could use some editing and polishing is all.
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Hmmm ok.I normally do but this one called me to rhyme. Their are Key points in the poem, but thanks for the advice
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Strong and powerful voice given here.
I love the fluidity and the verbage is excellent.
Glad you gave a note on this, I would have wondered
for quite a while! Tight writing, enjoyed. Blue
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