Cautiously optimistic,
struggling with fate.
Refusing to surrender,
internalized debate.
Author notes
this was an attempt to describe FEAR and the internal conflict that accompies it.
A contest entry
- WORD ECONOMY CHALLENGE! Ten-Word Poems... by TooRainbow.
675 points, ended September 23, 2007, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Very well described....
Like the phrase:internalized debate.
All the best!
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Very Interesting!
I keep reading this one~it's really quite brilliant. I love the see-saw effect. On the up side you place the lines "Cautiously optimistic," and "Refusing to surrender," and on the down side you write "struggling with fate." and "internalized debate." You start the poem with the up side and capitalize the beginnings of the lines seemingly to indicate that hope has the upper hand. Still, you end the piece with conflict, "debate" and punctuate each of your 'down-side' lines with a period seemingly to indicate that it is your fate to continue to endlessly struggle, period. The pivot of the see-saw is a comma, which you use twice to separate the up side from the down side...back and forth, back and forth. Extremely apt depiction of the fear that accompanies hope against reason or perseverence. Interesting take, indeed! This piece is well-constructed and thought-provoking. It reminds us that feelings are like onions in that they come off in layers. Many levels of fear exist for each of us, and they are all the same emotion, but feel differently, almost like sub-emotions. It is also interesting that emotions begin with a thought that produces a physiological response; and generally people concentrate on what their bodies are doing to describe what they feel. You, however, lend insight by sticking with the issue at hand: the thought that generated the physical response. It is the very basis of the emotion. Well done! Additionally, rhyming in ten words is difficult to do, yet you roll it off the tongue with such ease, it's nearly unnoticeable. Thank you for this entry! I am honored to have received it!
Sheryl
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Good
You described itt well. Very good
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yes i see what you where attempting to do and through
my eyes i say you succeeded
bravo and best of luck to you
tory
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