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...

A fixed expression,
a throbbing heart
and my words silenced.

Author notes

Fear

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Walking Tall
    September 17, 2007

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    i could never really find anything to apply the term "less is more" to before.. but i guess it fits this perfectly
    so much power
    in so few words
    brilliant
    SeeJ
    good luck in the contest

  • TooRainbow silver member
    September 16, 2007

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    Great job!

    You really employed the concept of the contest and obviously put a great deal of thought into this! Funny though, I see how your verse describes fear, now that I read your title, but as I read the poem, I made a different guess about the emotion you were describing. With "A fixed expression" I pictured a locked stare, which when coupled with "throbbing" in your next line called to my mind the emotion of love. I saw two sets of eyes transfixed upon each other and felt a flash of electricity between two people, I guess because the words "heart" and "throb" are used together so often to describe love. Then your final line "and my words silenced" brought an image of lips upon lips, so I thought maybe it could be lust. It's wonderful how words mean so many different things to different people. I like poetry that leaves a take-home that can be personalized by the reader. You did a great job on this. You relayed that the feeling you are describing is a consuming one. (I could feel the agonized, pounding heart!) I put all three lines together along with the pictures in my head and intensity of the emotion and interpreted it to be describing desire! Thanks for entering and for following the rules! Good luck!
    Sheryl


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    September 15, 2007

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    wow this indeed spoke of great emotion.
    well done here. This was a greatly epressed within ten words. best of luck to you.
    Tory


  • Lady Eventide
    September 15, 2007

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    Ooh. Good. For some reason, though...I thought that this was about love. I mean, gazing into your lover's eyes...heart beating a mile a minute...all's quiet. I seriously thought it was about love. No offense. I loved it. Really BEAUTIFUL.


    • Gamool
      September 15, 2007
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      ooh, now i do realize it could go for love too , lol, i couldnt blame you getting the wrong message ,

1 - 5 of 5