Torrents flow
from eyes to heart.
Rapids sweeping
Cupid's dart.
What was...imagined?
(TORN APART)
spirals to below.
Shipwrecked!
Tragedy at sea.
Drown in her,
drowning me.
Plummeting, settling
...comfortably?
(gaping with defect)
Intimate
strangers
we've become.
Lurking dangers
rise with sun!
Darkness lingers
beneath sediment.
Shut out light!
Let's fall asleep.
Pretend contrary!
(your misdeed)
Life-vest-like bandage...
AFFAIR -I bleed!
Set our lives to right...
A contest entry
- Affair -I Bleed- by adsaige.
300 points, ended September 17, 2007, 3 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hm...absolutely captivating. It satsified me from beginning to end. Thank you for you entry, and good luck in the contest.
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kaithleen
ummm..............the stuff you write sounds like you go through a lot of pain and arn't expressing it much or dont quite talk about your feelings and i understand what you were going through or were thinking when you wrote this poem i think are a really goos writer and in life along the path you can go somewhere with your poetry because you have some talent and i think you can use it well weather it's to help yourself or other people feeling the same way you are!
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Wow, Ms Rainbow, what a beautiful poem. You don't write enough and yet when you do you up stage all. Your poem has that old English romantic feel belong to the greats. They always do -- I'l sure people will line up to be photographed beside you grave, in time. Just before your estate becomes filthy rich. (It's always the way with poets - a tragic life is your lots lot.) --- Thank you
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Oh pshaw!
Thank you, Wattle. That means a lot to me, especially coming from you. This is by no means what I consider to be my best poetry, but it is helping me get there. I like rhyme and meter that doesn't follow anyone else's pattern, and I like to write poetry that is a bit cryptic (makes you think about what it is I am trying to say) but not too difficult to figure out for just anyone. I have written too much in entirely what I consider "laymens' verbage" so that it's more like a rhyming story than poetry, and I have written a few "really out-there, no-one-knows-what-I'm-talking-about" verses...now I am striving for something in between. I appreciate your comment. I think this hits the mark, but is more of a practice piece...definitely not the sort of poetry that will have people lining up as you say, but one that shows me that with practice I may be worth reading some day (if I say so, myself). It would be my dream come true to actually touch people through time. I am so lonely in this century where I live...
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