For the life lived in a shallow grave
No air to breathe no death to have
For fear shown and love given
For sheer fate and madness driven
Bit by bit rendered helpless
Wing after wing clipped flightless
Like a soaring bird on land
Like a sailing ship on sand
Towards a time at a standstill
Onwards at a pace without a will
A way paved for none to follow
A niche carved to sound hollow
Forever in the hands of fate
Destiny's child love's hate
A rolling ball of fire
Dying out waiting to retire
Author notes
The world is bad.But God is there and this is hope.
It is almost a law...where this a calamity there has to be hope and then we make a mockery of realistic propensities whence around the corner danger lurks in hedonistic flavours
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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For the life lived in a shallow grave
No air to breathe no death to have
For fear shown and love given
For sheer fate and madness driven
Bit by bit rendered helpless
Wing after wing clipped flightless
Like a soaring bird on land
Like a sailing ship on sand
Towards a time at a standstill
Onwards at a pace without a will
A way paved for none to follow
A niche carved to sound hollow
Forever in the hands of fate
Destiny's child love's hate
A rolling ball of fire
Dying out waiting to retire
some days my dear friend I feel just like your write well done hope all is well with you you are in my prayers
love the rev papa
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a good piece of poetry, aye there are a lot of natural disasters and man made ones too but there is always hope to be found in life no matter the scene that comes tumbling through, good rhythm and rhyme.
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It seems you havent been around for a while. I enjoyed this and agree that there is always hope. where would we be without it? x
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Wow, deep thoughts here. I really enjoyed it. I love the notes. Yes, God is the brightness in all things. I agree. Great piece. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, SHUBS?! I haven't talked to you in forever and I don't know why. LOL. Drop me a line sometime. Hope to hear from you soon. - cgirl0410
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Very Good
As always, Shubs, your poetry makes me smile. Hope is a wonderful thing to write about, if not at many times, the reason to write. I'm glad I stopped by here and got to read this before bed. The imagery was just beautiful. I think my favorite two lines are
Like a soaring bird on land
Like a sailing ship on sand
This really paints a picture and that is always great for a reader with poetry. It puts me into what you are saying. I hope that all is well. God Bless. Sincerely me, Meghan Marie
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A fine new poem by you! Glad!
Yes, hope is the bright shining star in the heavens... and with our eyes on that star we can find reasons to smile! Your poem made me smile this morning because I delighted to find you online here at AP! Beautiful lines of creativity here, shubs! 
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Great flow
and subject, glad to see you shubs, you still have the ability to make me stop whilst reading and think damn,
Bit by bit rendered helpless
Wing after wing clipped flightless
Like a soaring bird on land
Like a sailing ship on sand.
I love this stanza-and also:
A way paved for none to follow
A niche carved to sound hollow
Wonderfull words, take care. x
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Excellent
Hello, Shubs!, great to read something new from you, this is really good, especially the middle stanza, "like a soaring bird on land/ like a sailing ship on sand", great stuff my friend,
hope you're well,
Alexander the great.
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I'm being sincere:
when i say that this poem has truly touched me, I mean it. I am awake reading at this hour because i feel lost and have just made a realization i'm not sure i really wanted to make, but atleast i'm finally looking at it and this poem has only helped me see. . . i guess this poem has a lot of facets in which to make a point to a reader, but for me, it points out that you have an understanding of how debilitating hopelessness can be, but your Author's Note i think makes a greater point of how things will be ok, but i'm not sure if you mean we don't realize how seriously easy it is to be a "victim" of addiction. . . ?
As far as a critique for the poem, i feel that if your Author's note explains more to be than your poem, then it might lack content, but you did write that this is a work in progress . . .i think the message of the poem is great on it's own, but all i really get from it's content is your empathy for someone who is truly feeling stuck. I think the style of the poem is great and isn't cheesy in the rhyme usage, in my opinion. I can't wait to see what else this adds.
Good luck,
lizbian
. Rewarded 8
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