I carved my initials onto my grave;
cocking death in my hands.
I'll lay to rest in turtle green filth;
give me not a funeral, but my freedom.
Rising from our shell, I fire
not at the enemy, but at authority,
don't you know religion and power don't mix?
This trench is quickly flooding with blood,
they're dropping like a rainy afternoon
back home; she's alone.
Author notes
Prompt: Your view on the war.
A contest entry
- Friday Night Quickie by CitrineSunrise.
450 points, ended September 15, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes!! Lots of options!!!!! by lilblueeyesmine1978.
425 points, ended September 27, 2007, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round Contest! Round 1 of 4. Everyone welcome. by FightOffYourDemons.
350 points, ended June 11, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Written on this Date... by xxRainbowDawnxx.
625 points, ended March 23, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This is really terrible, in the sense that it echoes a lot of hurt and pain, but I can in some ways relate to these ways you have felt and could imagine doing this myself.
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for such a small poem it is really powerful. It leaves you really stunned and thoughtful. The emotions are pretty impactful especially the last line. wow. It does really leave you questioning a lot of things that are going on right now and that have gone on. it is an extremely sad poem but I also get the sense of pride from the speaker that he really believes in what he is doing/
thanks for the entry -
wonderfully written. this is very heartfelt. My brother is fighting in this rediculous war. It sucks that the people who declare the wars don't have to fight them. i miss the good old days when if you had a problem with someone you both just had a shootout and whoever lived was the winner period.
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Very true.
=D
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very dark and dreary, it kind of spooked me. Congrats on the gold well deserved.
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Thanks so much!
=)
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fascinating
I really liked this powerful, compact piece. I love your imagery, and your conversationalist tone. The conclusion - so simply stated - leaves the reader contemplating a great many things. Why is she alone? Why is it raining? Why is there war? ... or maybe I'm just behaving/thinking like a toddler.
My cousin just returned from Iraq (from the front lines with Purple Heart) - I know he will never be the same as he was before he left - but I hope that one day he can recover from the harsh realities he has faced.
Another person very close to my heart was also a soldier - I know his experiences have shaped him as a person in ways he never anticipated. I hope he will heal also.
I support our soldiers, but I think war is pointless and such a waste of young lives... the old men who make the decision and give the declaration never go to fight themselves... I think if they did they'd consider it more carefully.
Excellent write! Once again I love your images!!!
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Congratulations on your wonderful golden trophy
I totally enjoyed your take off the prompt, very creative and with great meaning within. So sad, so true for many....have a beautiful evening, Ken IBT
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Thank you!
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This is another amazing interpretation of this prompt. I particularly liked the line "Don't you know religion and power don't mix?". Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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Thank youu!
=D
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Your prompt is: Tomorrow Never Comes. Please do not use this as your title. Good luck in this contest.
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