A Prayer For All Things Good

So far have I fallen from my first love,
O LORD, so far have You drawn away from me,
yet You tell me You are still there.

Where,
O LORD? Where can You be found?
In the darkness that surrounds me,
where is the light?

If it is I who has truly drawn away from You,
Then why do You say ‘I shall leave so You may follow?’
Why do You contradict Yourself so?
LORD,
May I no longer blind myself to the questions of my own heart and mind,
May I no longer screen or veil the truth of my evil nature,
And of my fallen state,
That seeks to destroy me.

Come to me LORD,
And like a heavy bludgeon destroy such wicked woes,
And like a strong mule carry the burden of my load.
If I cannot draw close to You of my own accord,
And of my own strength,
I can rely only on You,
For such a task to be undertaken.

My mind and my heart are against me;
Uplift me and save me LORD God.
Come to my aid LORD God,
Do not hide from me any longer.
Do not look away and see not my plight;
Do not cast me down and leave me without Your revelation;
But look on me with the favour and mercy I was given by the blood of Christ.

If I am Your one beloved,
To You as though I were a jewel beset in rock or salt sprinkled upon the Earth,
Then look upon such love,
And endow it unto me.
Let not the accursed evil within me prevail in its own self-hatred,
But rather let the revelation of Your love come to me like a sweetly mistress,
And confirm my fears wrought but vain.

Entrust in Your own good faith,
O LORD,
And look upon me with merciful eyes,
And a lavishing heart.

Do good to me LORD,
For how I love Your goodness.
Bring me gifts of Your hand,
And release me from such pitiful suffering.
Empower me with Your Holy Spirit,
And let Your love never leave my heart.