I slammed the book of hate down
Each entry precisely penned
My quill freshly dipped. Ink droplets
Falling on the desk's surface
My eyes rise to meet yours and you
Calmly return. Your soul screams
Vicious attacks, vindictive
Accusations and as each falls you
Hear the rhythmic scratching of my pen
Tears fall from your eyes as
The measure of your hate
Comes to the surface
You are shaking now with anger
Yet spent and I continue to
Scribe your every slur. As I sketch
the ending to these thoughts
Your breath is exhaled
Your eyes sag slightly as
If your energy was spent
I glance up from the book
Meeting your eyes again
And in that one look you see,
Companionship, Forgiveness
Understanding, and Love
Your tears begin again as you
Fall to your knees
Your soul scourged by your own
fires. Clean and now, able to heal.
The weight of the book makes
The floorboards creak
As I replace it onto my shoulder
Where all of your troubles are kept
Willingly
Author notes
There are those born to rule, those born to serve... Leaders, followers. But A class I'd like acknowledged. The listener.
This message goes out to all! I am here... I will listen... I will take the thoughts away... IT'S LEFT TO YOU, HEALING YOURSELF!
In a list
A contest entry
- 19 to 25 enter your best prewrites Judged by RedwingSpirit.
850 points, ended January 17, 2008, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
You can say it... but I might fling poo at you.. ::eyes shift left to right::
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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This is really Good I don't really know what to say about it. other than Very Well Penned Emotions!! Although this is my opinion (But doesn't hurt your judging) I don't like the fact that their is some punt. in places and none in other's. I either use all the way or none at all. *but again this doesn't affect you in my judging Your words are what counts. Thanks for entering I wish you the best of luck with this Awesome Write
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Wow!!
Oh my jeez, this is amazing!!! I love it, I adore the way you described the listener...the act of listening...I love it all. As you take the burden onto yourself..a powerful ending. Great job, thanks for sharing this!!!
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I agree with ReflectiveEyes comment. This was too what this poem reminded me of. Or perhaps I just take on all those problems to stop me focusing on my own. I liked the style and flow of this poem. It was powerful without being overbearing and awkward to read. Well done and many thanks for entering my contest.
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I completely understand what you were meaning here. Often I feel that I take all the worries of my friends. And just as in your poem, I do it willingly. I feel that it is the least I can do as a friend. Though, there are time when I wish I could do more...
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I'll sensd you all my bad sins
to put in your book, however I warn you not to put on your shoulder, lol...the Burden may be your end! A fine write full of imagery and deep thoughts...best wishes in the contest, Ken IBT
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wow. that is all i can say. i love it. i seriously want to memorize it so i can quote it because i love it sooo much! i can't describe it.
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A very creative piece of work and so powerful! ...different and refreshing to read with wonderful imagery. This was a real pleasure to read and had the power to hold me from start to finish. Well done and good luck in the contest with this lovely entry.
Shaz xx
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Fascinating concept... there is truth to it too- I know I can relate to that philosophy. The poem was well written- it flowed very nicely, conveyed what you had to say without slamming it over the head of the readers, and it just was wonderful. Great write!
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I love that metaphor...it's just awesome...creative and heartfelt and the feeling of this poem is dark and intense...I love it!
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good write
listener? interesting angle.the piece was thoughtful,and deeply engaging!
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I think that a good listener can be hard to find, everyone usually being wrapped up in their own problems. Interesting piece. Good luck.
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Listeners,more or less take the biggest part of any subject,voices need to make a great effort to help the listeners understand,what they are trying to convey, good job,good luck...MM
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Listeners RULE. This is a very powerful piece and a wonderful entry in this contest. Very good work. ~Pamela
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I love the pace of this poem set by the descriptive words within and the way in which you put them down. I'll also second your authors notes as I think the job of listener is played down on many fronts. Good work here.
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A beautiful poem filled with love for another. You are so right. A good listener is a friend indeed. Good luck in the contest.
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very good write
I enjoyed the poem and its flow and the meaning was well penned, one who listens and uses their wisdom to help very good write
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I am so pleased that you managed to post this piece before the closure of this contest As i would have been denied a wonderful write Thank you.It is only the listeners who hear and understand what is being said.A rare breed in a world where everyone wants their voice to be heard.A joy to read That says a lot for this piece as i am not known as a lover of free form. although i do read it.Thank you so much for entering Good luck in the contest
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oh very nice! I really loved it! And i mean it too. I loved the way it started out as hate and then slowly turned to forgiveness. The whole concept is different. cheers!
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This poem is easy to read and to understand all great composed feelings and all things you want to say. Nice used metaphors and pictures are used here.
~Sonja~
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yep i see what you mean...this is very true..without someone there to listen to what you keep held inside, you would dwell forever in your fears and sadness..talking is hard, listening is harder..takes certain people to be able to do so..to "really" listen
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Yeah I agree with the one guy this is completely awesome! & it does need to be read over and over again because there is so much depth to it like woahh :: pats back:: GREAT job! Definately one of my faves, well.. all of yours are that I read so far it'd be too hard to choose. Kudos! I only have 2 applaud left so i couldnt give ya 3 ::sad face::
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well done...
'you eyes' = 'your eyes'
This is so vivid, it gave me the creeps reading it the first time and then I saw that it is truly wonderful and has the potential to heal.
It needs to be read a few times because it contains so much depth.
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ooo thanks for the edit!!!!
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This is similar to a position I find myself in often, in some cultures they are refered to as "Sin Eaters" and it is believed that they can take all the sin and pain from another person completely. Yes the listener is definitely a martyr and should be recognized more often. Wonderful write! Very powerful, I love the language, and the theme is just absolutely killer!
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I love this. It's so well written and the message is just wonderful. The emotions that are in this are wonderful as well. This is really an amazing write. I don't know what to say except I love it and more people should be willing to listen.
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Feel free to add to the book... I'll listen to what ever you want to say... and If it'll help you're being added to my favorites so I can follow your poetry!! I am a devoted favorite! Anything new, you can count on me reading! ::winks::
J~~~ -
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aw, thanks
I really love your poetry and am going to add
you to my favorites too.
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