The apple,
Smooth shining scarlet sheath,
Thinly layered over a virginal womb,
encompassing the cluster of seeds in the center,
the subtle new potential for the crimson rebirth.
A contest entry
- Best Prewrites! by movedon.
1750 points, ended May 8, 370 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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this one got my attention simply because it's different.
a great description.
nicely done.
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wow, thats a really cool description! very interesting, got me thinking... great word choices too. great work
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good!
it took me a while to understand, but it was very well written!!!!
very nice :]]] -
This was short, but an amazing write. I loved the simplicity and beauty behind it. I also loved the subject, as many people do not take time to realize the beauty of everyday things. Excellent job.
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Ooh.... Me likey. An interesting take on an object that most people wouldn't give a second thought to. It certainly makes you think about things differently, exactly as a poem should do. Muchas Gracias!
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good
There was a lot of imagery in this poem. I think that the wording pattern and the background colour (oddly enough) really assisting in making this poem work.
I also really liked that an alliteration started the poem. -
Amazing imagery, makes me think of apples differently...great write.
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Very descriptive. I love what you have penned here... But, that is all you have penned here - a beautiful description... Not much more. I would have liked something deeper - or perhaps there is... and I'm just missing it.
But, I really think this is beautiful - and you did a wonderful job on this. I love how you described this - it is... in a unique way. I love unique poetry
Great job
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I thought it was really good. usually short poems don't appeal to me but I really liked this one
Keep up the good writing
~ Fee
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This was a good poem. It was very short, but very well-written nonetheless. Even though it doesn't rhyme (I like rhyming poems), it was still a very good piece, and I'm glad I read it. Thanks for sharing!
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This is quite an interesting piece you've written here. The reader can find easily different meanings inside the lines, and personally I do like these kind of layered poems.
You've got a good use of imagery inside this and that gives it a plus as well
The only word that 'bothered' me a bit is crimson . This is probably just a personal opinion, but to my feeling, that word is overused and tends to pull a poem into the cliched side of poetry. Maybe you could try to fiddle with it and fit another word in it that basically means the same? I'm thinking about 'Ruby' here, or maybe 'Scarlet' - although that last one is used quite often too.
Anyway, keep it up!
Leander -
Hmm this can have many meanings, literal or figuratively. I think it has a more figurative meaning.
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A delicate bit of imagery with good follow through. In a piece with so few words, you have managed to draw a beautiful picture. Nicely done!
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I like this it is a great piece you took it outside the box thank you for entering this contest best wishes and much luck have a great day
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Interesting and very intriguing. You have crafted a very unique and somewhat abstract view on this and written it poetically. Beautifully done.
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This is amazing. Not too much I can say to critique...looks about perfect to me, with just the right amount of fire in it.
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I really like the way you can give both concrete and abstract descriptions in such a succinct way.
Clancy -
Nice alliteration in your second line.
This is a short little ditty but nicely done.
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Thank you for your entry good luck.
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Very grasping and interesting. Beuaitful descriptions in such less limite words. Thanxx for sharing this beauty at my party.
Luv,
~Candy
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I like the title, so true, every potential within this, thank you
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hmm short and simple
yet very uhh hmm wats the word....descriptive?
blah i'll stick to my "bloody brilliant" quote lol.
so yeah job well done -
I suck at commeneting on such perfect simplicity.
It's like it is mundan on the outside just to lure in concious thought and spin it round in a mirrored maze of though
But yeah, a nice and delightfuly warm piece.
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lovely poem.
i like the imagery of the words you used, loved it.
keep writing and having good ideas, Fleeting-hope
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Without the first line, this would work almost like an Old English riddle-poem--it begins in physical description, then increasingly cryptic and internal revelations. Nicely done.
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