Locked in talons of boredom's deep seated snare,
I see naught but lonely desparation and silence's glare.
I feel my heart break with each breath I take,
I wonder "is all I am in life a great big fake?"
My arms itch for satisfaction as poison calls my name,
yet I still recall the times I hung my head in shame.
My breath catches with excitement just to type the poem,
even though I know using again will surely cause me ruin.
You may laugh and mock at such a weak one as I.
Me, I sit here and often, in the silence, I cry.
You may think me disgusting and not so blessed,
I sit here and wonder will I pass this freaking test.
My breath catches when I think of my drugs call,
my body shivers when I think of ending it all.
My mind says I am a weakling and I can not stand,
yet, the needle in my drawer longs to be in my hand.
As I put the solid into the spoon, I shake.
"How much water, how thick shall this I make?"
I can't wait to taste it, just one tiny little drop.
Oh fuck!!! How long have I been on the floor and did I flop?
I stand and look in the mirror for my eyes to see
and when I look back it isn't really me that is seen.
I am now another, one who does not care.
I just need to find another needle though I do not know where.
Author notes
just having a hard time staying clean this week so played out the scenario so i know what i am looking at. PLEASE for the love of GOD, do not tell me to stay clean, i already know that. that is why i wrote this, to remind me of where i will be if i use. viyanna rosemarie
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Wonderful
Very well done. A great and inspirational poem.
-
I feel for you . I have felt like this so many times and still do . There are days I just want a drink or get high to forget . But I tell myself no . I have come so far . I am here as a friend and I do care
-
We all have had our drug of choice weather a needle, a pill, or a cheap bottle of wine. So I will not say to you those words you know so well, Instead I will lend an ear or even a hand in your battle against addiction. Your poem is awesome and it speaks the truth. The flow is amazing. Over all it gets a ten from me. I will pray for you, for today you're clean and sober and this is the day that counts.
-
wow. this is amazing! just.... wow... "Locked in talons of boredom's deep seated snare,
I see naught but lonely desparation and silence's glare.
I feel my heart break with each breath I take,
I wonder "is all I am in life a great big fake?"
My arms itch for satisfaction as poison calls my name,
yet I still recall the times I hung my head in shame.
My breath catches with excitement just to type the poem,
even though I know using again will surely cause me ruin.
You may laugh and mock at such a weak one as I.
Me, I sit here and often, in the silence, I cry.
You may think me disgusting and not so blessed,
I sit here and wonder will I pass this freaking test.
My breath catches when I think of my drugs call,
my body shivers when I think of ending it all.
My mind says I am a weakling and I can not stand,
yet, the needle in my drawer longs to be in my hand.
As I put the solid into the spoon, I shake.
"How much water, how thick shall this I make?"
I can't wait to taste it, just one tiny little drop.
Oh fuck!!! How long have I been on the floor and did I flop?
I stand and look in the mirror for my eyes to see
and when I look back it isn't really me that is seen.
I am now another, one who does not care.
I just need to find another needle though I do not know where" just wow, this whole poem really stood out to me... I have a friend who is having trouble staying clean! I want to help him, but... I really can't... he won't really let me... it's kind of annoying. but yeah, great work! keep it up! hope you do well with staying clean! good luck!
Crimson -
I honestly feel sorry for you. I really really do. I can't tell you how many times I've seen this first hand to people I love. I hope you get better because you are wasting your life and everyone around you's time. I'll pray for you, Viyanna. You need many many prayers I can see.
-
-
tarja, i disagree, i am not wasting my life. i am clean and sober and plan on remaining that way. if i can't talk about the hard times, i won't make it through them. viyanna
-
-
If you are indeed sober, I take back my statement with an apology... but I cannot know if you are or not... And if you're not... that's what I believe
-
-
well, i am indeed clean and sober and plan on staying that way. must have done my job as a writer if one couldn't tell if i am or not. viyanna
-
-
hah yeah pretty much.
-
-
-
-
-
I know all too well my fiend
I too have felt the depths of the downward spiral and the soaring flight of the uptown pizzazz. I felt as if I were sitting right with you when i read this wonderful and sorrowful write, so full of impact and emotion. You have penned, what so many others have thought or ezperienced, in a thoughtful and understanding manner. I commend you on your beautiful incite and tremendous courage that took to put this down for others to see, and gain an inner strength you possess. Such a powerful image created in this amazing poem. Keep up the great work, from your AP friend Otis-Taylor.
-
Filled with emotion
I like the words used in order to create intense emotion. This poem shows the reality for many people. The words really flow through the page. I would have to agree with celadia; the word "freaking" threw me off a bit. other than that, very nice.
-
I like this
I totally can relate here.Not with the same thing as you but in terms of wanting to relaspe.I hope you can stay strong
-
-
ty for reading and for leaving a comment. viyanna rosemarie
-
-
Sad
I thought it was very breathy, as if instead of reciting it, a person would breathe it. The whole thing worked well the way it was laid out and I thought the way you put words together was very well, meaning the words all fit well. I did not, however, think the word 'freaking' fit that well, which is the only exception, I think you need a descriptive adjective, of course that is just my opinion, just ignore it if you disagree. A great poem.
-
-
thank you very much. just having a hard time and wrote it out. thank you for the suggestion. viyanna rosemarie
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
