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I No Longer See Life

Your evil manipulative ways, strip me
I am blinded for life, darkened by your lies
Creator of this beast, you broke these chains free.

Lost silhouettes dancing within time,
Souls forever destined to hell’s flames,
You stole the air that I breathe, my life no longer mine.

Hollow depths, emptied space, sockets of emptiness,
I see nothing, no love, no hate, nothing,
I lay upon this world, breathless.

You stole my world; I no longer see life.

Author notes

prompt: you took the world from my eyes

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Griswold
    September 16, 2007

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    Very strongly written honey, a very well done poem for the prompt. Get off the dark stuff darnit!!!! Love You...Scott


  • islekine gold member
    September 15, 2007
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    Powerful indeed!

    Great write! Good luck in the contest.
    Write on!
    *PEACE*

  • eternal-devotion
    September 15, 2007

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    Very well done.

    My first impression is that your words took the promt to a new hight, this is excelent. Emotionally you made what satan does very vivid. There is nothing awkward in this and nothing should be changed. The title is perfect. The first line is just right for the prompt as well as for this poem. The last line sums this in the best possible way to go with the prompt. This is worded in the best way possible for this contest. I thought it was very well written and as for what it is it was all my favorite.


  • poeticweaver gold member
    September 14, 2007

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    Great Job,

    A very powerfully penned piece for the given prompt Tory, you really delve into this one, and penned it like you meant it. Great job, peace, Timothy


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    September 14, 2007

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    oh wow mum this was a strong and emotional take on the prompt
    so strong with imagery it was just beautifully expressed
    hope your ok mum
    love youuuuuu


  • Exodus gold member
    September 14, 2007

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    A very interesting take on the prompt, and rather sad. You have some great imagery though, thank you

  • Michael A
    September 14, 2007
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    very good

    an excellent take on the prompt and understanding of where it came from.


  • DancingRed
    September 14, 2007

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    A beautifully devastating picture you've painted. Your descriptions are vivid and realistic.
    Luck for the contest.

    DancingRed.


  • blondone
    September 14, 2007

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    I love the depth in this writing, such raw emotions love the flow and the tones is right on the money strong poetry...

1 - 9 of 9