To feel it is piercing pain
Clouds all senses like the rain
Drives with but one reason
As complex and simple as the seasons
Its object does not know
So it hides, does not show
So it must be between friends
Who will be true to the end
The only cure comes in forgetting
Find another or find strength for letting go
Add the knowledge of this newfound strength
To the stores already there and give thanks
Thanks for being able to love
To love someone so very much
Wish them happiness and all things good
Remember: those who wait will have good
To feel it is piercing pain
Clouds all senses like the rain
Drives with but one reason
As complex and simple as the seasons
Author notes
I wrote this 9/26/05. I was feeling all the emotions that go with one-sided love. It wasn't until 6 days shy of 9 months later that I found out that my love was not unrequited, but returned, & fully so. I wish I could say that we are happily together, but I can't. Let's just say that there are things keeping us apart.
A contest entry
- whatever you want by Anonymous Shadow.
600 points, ended October 1, 2007, 119 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Different Topics Come See If You Like Any by Lesbian-in-love.
675 points, ended January 19, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Let me know what y'all think.
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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such sadness fills your words of love not returned. i have been here and it truly hurts to not be loved in return. then to find out later it is returned but not able to fully be together is almost torturous. very heartfelt and moving piece. thanks for entering and good luck.
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cristy
On both counts, you are very right. Thank you for your understanding.
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This verse is written
in quatrains of rhyming pairs, in the main with no meter nor syllable count. It is not really vers libre nor formal verse. Somewhere in between! I liked the repetition of your first stanza. "Clouds all senses like the rain" is a good figurative image.
Thank you for entering. Lyndon of the Winklings.
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lyndon
Is 'vers libre' freeverse?
I guess I created my own style of poetic form!
Good to know you enjoyed it. Thanks!
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When the things keeping lovers apart it's very sad and really depressing.
The poem desctribe "Unrequited Love" really nice.
Great piece of work.
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Haha, yes it is! You see this without judgment of me. I humbly thank you for that.
Thankee for the kindnesses of your words,
~SunDew
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i love it. great write.
btw thanks for commenting-decisons. and i hope yours doesn't use you it's the worst feeling in the world.
~amanda. -
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amanda
Thank you! It'sa no problem. You & me both.
~Bright
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Love is often hurting still
Yet there is magic in it too
Gifts that you do receive
With love both deep and true
The heart is such a tender thing
So easy to rip and break
Love is a cure in a childs eye
All give with no take
That was a very moving poem that really speaks from the heart, it touches all who are lucky enough to read it, Blessings with Love John
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john
Thank you so for your wonderfully kind & uplifting words, my friend! Nearly all my poems are from personal experience...all the ones with sadness to them are from personal experience. I'm the lucky one.
Niaish & many blessings back,
~Bright
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wow, so beautiful...the ryme is great and I enjoyed the way it flowed. It tells such a sad story..you write with such emotion..
I like this piece alot..I will be reading more soon
-Dusty-
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dusty
Thank you so much!
I'll stop by your poems soon, & read, too.
~Chelle
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This was such a beautiful poem. I can relate only I did not get the same result as you. I'm sorry that you can't be together now for whatever reason it is, you don't have to tell me. Things work out sometimes though, the whole saying everything happens for a reason isn't always nonsense. Believe me I know. After I moved on I found a great guy and now I'm engaged. A great write though. I really liked the beginning stanza. Thank you for entering my contest.
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catqueen248
I'm so glad you found such a wonderful guy! He must be really awesome. I'm kind of just letting someone plop into my life, whenever it happens, if it does.
Thank you very much,
~SunDew
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Oh so I reread it and I like this one a lot. Sorry about the first time ready this but anyways. Just something about it I really like it. Thanks again for sharing and good luck in the contest.
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lesbianshavemorefun
Thank you! I'm glad you like it so much.
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Thanks for entering and good luck. Sorry this is not much but I am in down time right now. Thanks again.
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lesbianshavemorefun
Hey, thanks for commenting & letting me know you'll be back with another...most contest hosts don't do that. I look forward to your next comement.
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Yes You're right
The feelings here are very simular to the poem I wrote. I feel your pain. Never say never though because God has a weird sence of humor! We say we can't but sometimes the way becomes clear. I always wish you the best! Love and kisses, The Shaker
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my dear uncle
Thanks for reading it! Believe me, it's not in God's will for he & I to be together. He's a bit on the married side. I wish he weren't, but, on the bright side, I love his family to death. Including his wife. Thanks!
~SunfloweRose
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Very interesting write. Keep it up. Thank you and good luck!
Koko
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koko
Thank you!
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You're very welcome!
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Very interesting. Not what I was expecting when I made this contest, but I liked this a lot. My favorite lines are "The only cure comes in forgetting/find another or find strength for letting go." Very profound. Also the way it shifted to thankfulness at the end is cool--that makes it less that of immature pining away kind of love and more of the lasting unconditional sort. I liked this, the only thing I would change is that the second stanza sounds a little awkward, or maybe just not as developed/deep as the others--I think its the whole, "so it hides, does not show, so it must be..." that's a little melodramatic. Good piece, good luck, and have a wonderful evening!
--Shannon -
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shannon
Thank you! Yes, the second stanza's a bit dramatic, but that's the way it feels when you're going through it. It feels like you'll never find another, even though you're searching. Like you couldn't even dream of being happy with anyone else. But you can't tell them, because it might hurt your deep friendship. So you have to hide it & let it come out only as a friendship/sisterly love. It hurts to go through this. I finally told him, as I mentioned in my author's notes. I doubt he & I will ever be together, but at least now I know I'm not alone in the way I feel. Thank you again & you too!
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Thank you very much for entering my little contest! I enjoyed reading your entry, and hope you had fun entering it!
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melissa
Thank you!
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This was a very emotional piece. I enjoyed the flow and the rhyme scheme very much. I liked the stanza,
"The only cure comes in forgetting
Find another or find strength for letting go
Add the knowledge of this newfound strength
To the stores already there and give thanks"
Well done.
I see why this poem won an honorable trophy.
Thank you so much for entering my contest. I wish you the best of luck.
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sinnastar
Thank you, as well, for seeing this as I wrote it. The deep emotion in this poem has been missed by some, & I'm glad you caught it. Your favorite stanza is the hardest part of the poem for me...I'm still going through this thing.
Thank you!
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Unrequited love is a terrible feeling indeed. I can see exactly where you're coming from and relate to this poem very much so. It's great though that you can turn something so painful into something so constructive. Thanks for entering my contest and best of luck to you in the judging!
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blackangelwings
Thank you for really seeing what I wrote in this piece. Thanks for the comment, too!
I hope your unrequited love situation turns out well for you...but if it doesn't, please remember that if it doesn't kill you, it gives you strength from which to draw on later in your life.
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I can see the pain felt in this one, 1-4 give it a kick start 17-20 remind you if you missed it during the trip.. this is a sad one. but what gives it strength in a clearer thought is the virtue to hold on and be patient. well done.
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i knew you'd see it...& thank you.
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Good
I like the flow and description in this. But I didn't feel any raw emotion. Well done and good luck in my contest. Jane
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I am sorry that there are things that are keeping you apart ... I loved this piece ... you put so much raw emotion into this piece ... unrequited love ... very beautiful ... good luck in the contest ...
Chantelle -
Wow Michelle,this is sooo touching and absolutely beautiful. I know you have written so many good poems and this, I feel, is the best by far. Keep up the great work. Love and miss ya girl.
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