Frolicking in emerald pastures.
Brightly colored baubles swaying,
dancing to wind's symphony.
Counting wishes on dandelions lost,
Dreaming for serenity.
Author notes
<3
In a list
A contest entry
- Amaze me by Lavender Butterfly.
390 points, ended September 15, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I wrote better than that one!!! by Tattboyspet.
800 points, ended September 28, 2007, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Party by DancingRed.
300 points, ended September 21, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This piece has a very dreamy, childlike quality and easy innocence to it.
Good write and congrats on bronze.
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Thanks very much
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Nice images; you paint a lovely scene. You might want to capitalise the beginning of line three, or get rid of all the capitals to make it uniform.
Thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
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strangely, you have described a perfect day - well done
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Thank you for bronze and for the comment
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this is a powerful read my friend. a perfect day is reading such great poetry. and your one of the best well done and keep them coming
tory -
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Thanks very much!!
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Such beautiful imagery abound. Thanks for sharing... x Love and light, Butterfly.
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a dream we all have! You have such a beautiful way with words, I am impressed, your poems they speak deeply to my soul, and I am tickled I have been reading more of your work..
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Aww thank you very much for the sweet comments I enjoy reading your work as well!
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I don't understand the punctuation at the end of the lines (line one seems separate from line two, but the punctuation reads them as together) --- but I love that this poem builds and maintains energy through pure description.
With just a few words, I felt what it's like to be there, in those pastures, by those dandelions. A poem like this strikes my emotions much more effectively than something like, "I felt sadness and I tried to give you my sadness." A sentence like that doesn't give me anything to feel or imagine.
Good job -
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You are very right, the punctuation was a little off. I think I fixed it though! Thank you so much for the wonderful comment, and for informing me of my weird punctuation
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