Your razor words of innocence
Detest all truth I know
A declaration of forever
Yet heartbreak is all I have to show.
My once fragile youth lies soiled
And your fingerprints scream guilt
You called me your most precious rose
Yet left me there to wilt
What candied words dripped toxin
From the mouth of serpents they rang true
Yet honesty has never once cavorted
With a man such as you
Your kiss became my everything
And you said your love was boundless
Yet when the next girl came along
Your declarations were, suddenly, soundless
Love has lost its frantic flight
Grounded, turned to dust
I deplored you not to leave me here
But you replied, “I must”
Some say love is magic
But magic is an illusion too
And your illusive love was obvious
Yet…I cant stop loving you.
I am your fool.
Author notes
Fiction. Blah blah blah. Yet I know a lot of girls like this. It's hard. Just because someone suddenly stops loving you doesnt mean you stop loving them.
Blah blah blah
Comments
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lovely!
How refreshing to have absolutely no grammar mistakes to correct! I can move right along to the good things
I LOVE the rhyming, it's so rare to find someone writing rhyming poetry anymore and I think you do so beautifully! You should always do it! Some of your rhymes were absolutely scrumptious, like guilt/wilt, or boundless/soundless. I'd encourage you to seek even more rhymes like that, especially the really rich 2 syllable ones. I loved the imagery, like a wilted rose or love grounded. Also, some of the lines that stuck out to me as especially well-phrased, such as “What candied words dripped toxin” and “Your declarations were, suddenly, soundless” (although I'd try to shorten the syllabic count on that one just a little). Overall I think this is a very real emotional response, full of all the fury, resentment, and pain of a lover scorned. Keep writing, you do it so beautifully!!
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amazing!my words are simply useless!I will applaud this in absolute silence!well done indeed!keep up!
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This was amazing Miranda,the flow was perfect and the rhyme scheme flawless,a very true piece of the sad aspect of love,I loved this piece...It was very honest in feeling and I think you relate to it,I do...Anyways keep up the writing dearie you are so great at it
miss you....
AP SIS,
~BCE~
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