My soul bleeds into the creamy white abyss
Screaming into the hollow void, created by sorrow.
My heart is my canvas, and etched upon its walls
Are the scars: Macabre cave-drawings, from a world away.
Each verse is a voice, stabbing the silence
Tearing through the tapestries of my life.
And each word, a blade, which slices my soul
So that I may bleed again, to know I'm alive
In case I've forgotten that I still bleed red.
But let them come, with their scourges and swords
Paint the town scarlet, with a brush made from thorns
And impale my heart upon a stake, so that I am
An example to fools, who dare to believe.
Every last piece of me, cannibalized by despair
Gutted and dismembered, my bloodied heart on display
Internal organs spilling out for all to see
But you only turn to laugh in the face of pain.
There will be no funeral for my soul tonight
No tombstone to commemorate my greatest loss.
This death of a love, my legacy forever
With only the wind's mournful cry as my epitaph.
Though how can you look into my vacant eyes
And stomach the sounds of my final breath
As my collapsed lungs struggle to cry out
For it was you who brought me to my bitter end.
Author notes
I am a rather morbid writer, therefore I found it fitting that I pen my verse of pain in the darkest, most morbid wording I could possibly think of.
It might not seem like it, but this poem is actually about the trials and tribulations of being a poet, of exposing such a personal part of your soul to the masses. If you have any questions, please ask me.
In a list
- Gold Trophy Winners • next in list
- HMs • next in list
- Simply Dark • next in list
- The Very Best Of Immortal Obscurity • next in list
- Silver Trophy Winners • next in list
- Bronze Trophy Winners • next in list
- The Darkest People On AP group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Words of Darkness by NakedHeart.
410 points, ended September 26, 2007, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkened Decimation & Bleeding Emotions by Synthetic-Nightmare.
2040 points, ended December 4, 2007, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Picture Inspiration:: Gauze And Gasmasks by Feresha.
550 points, ended April 19, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - best prewrites by dory.
500 points, ended July 30, 112 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PW Of Certain Types by Blooming Poet.
500 points, ended September 27, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I found myself thinking of this in 3 ways.
It is difficult to grasp the import of this as a personal lament unless the protagonist is important as an entity or adversary to the reader.
The next still imagines the writer as the protagonist of the story who struggles with the poetic process until finally mortally drained in body and soul.
The last is a personification of the poem itself lamenting its own struggle to be born/created, live and die. Its bitterness is directed toward the poet as to an unfeeling god who made it, tortured it, then left it to die when it was finished.
An interesting, though somewhat uncomfortable, discomfitting poem.
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wow! this is a very good poem. the picture ties together the pain in the words.
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wow this is wonderful for a dark poem your emotions keep the reader on the edge all the way though I enjoyed the following lines brillant beautiful dark
My soul bleeds into the creamy white abyss
Screaming into the hollow void, created by sorrow.
My heart is my canvas, and etched upon its walls
Are the scars: Macabre cave-drawings, from a world away.
congratulations on your shiny good luck in the contest
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My favorite part of this piece was the second verse. I enjoyed this poem very much & I thank you for your entry
Kari
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I enjoyed this. Very well done.
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not bad ty for entering I like your pic
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also, I LOVE YOUR Title! tabula rasa...blank slate...SO perfect!!!!!!!
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beautifully dark!
THIS IS SO BREATHTAKINGLY AMAZING!
your words are saturated with bitterness... and I hear the anger when I read it...great diction....glad I read this!
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This is outstanding! So powerful and very POTO influenced I love your work this is a masterful and talent-fiklled write congrats on the trophies, the main reason I clicked here is because the tilte is A Buffy Episode my fave on actually and it is latin for "clean slate"
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How did you come up with the title of this poem?
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Thanks for this entry as well...some poem...double meaning? what might that be? hahaah
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Lovelovelove.
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not got a glue what it's about but boy dose it flow your great at putting words together
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go with flow
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wow
this poem was just amazing i mean just amazing. you have a very good talent for writeing. great job!!!!!!!!!!
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I don't usually favour dark writes such as these, but yours was amazing. It kept me interested, your flow was good, and I like the image you created with your words. Very well done. keep writing.
Best of luck and thanks for entering my contest
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those sharp words will make anybody bleed with you....very intense..
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Phantom Of The Opera.
I love these visuals!! AND I FREAKING LOVE YOU!!! YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!!! -
I am not very fond of dark, morbid, emo, or poems focused on actual death, or using death as a metaphor. To me it has been to overdone, over used and is no very generic and unoriginal.
I cannot say I am fond of the length either, but I liked the title, and I did like some of the ways you phrased things. I think you have potential, but I don't think this poem does.
Sorry for being harsh, but I said I would be, and the contest was only for people who wanted honest critiques.
Thanks for trying,
Shirley -
this is dark
however it sounds like something I would write but a whole lot better.
I love this! my favorite part was "each verse is a voice, stabbing the silence." beautifu -
Beautifully dark and descriptive here, I felt pure emotion and sadness, sorrow and stark sarcasm almost in one part. Beautiful, but very true, it's how I feel often too.
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omg! this is soo amazing! i like it alot!!! i even picked up on the religious undertone. i love all those images your words painted in my head! love it alot!!
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this is amamazing !! i agree!! i didnt pick up on a the religious undertone though. i got the artist thing. i love this one!!
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wow....this is amazing! i love all of the graphic details!
yea i picked up on the religious undertone aswell..
still,one of my favourite poems. great work
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first off, congrats on your previous achievments in prior contests...secondly while reading this my eyes drifted back to the picture then sank back into your elegant and violent words...needless to say, i am a touch on the biased side of dark writes, and this one spoke to me as a whisper, and commanded my attention with its louder phrasing...nice job, and thank you for accepting my invite to this contest
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amazing...
i deeply loved this...it brought back a lot of memories of sliding that blade across my skin...exactly how it felt...hmmm...very nice write!!!VERY NICE!!!
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Funny you should say thatI've never cut, but the message was more that of an artist baring his/her soul to the masses, only to be laughed at... But to each their own
Someone even picked up on a more religious undertone that even I hadn't thought of
Anyway, yeah... This is my absolute favourite of my poems to date, and I'm glad you enjoyed it as I did Thank you for your kind comment!
love and light,
laura xxx
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I can believe this is your most morbid wording. The tone was a tormented one. The visuals were dark but the language was elegant, despite the violent, gory nature of the work. I like the sound devices in the fourth stanza. Dark Poetry done well.
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Really really really really awsome!
It's dark but enchanting, I love it! -
I really enjoyed this piece. Thank you for entering my contest. If I had to chose 2 words to describe this poem they would be Beautifully dark. The text was stunning, but I think at some parts you were trying too hard to be grim. The descriptions of gore were a little much. I did love this part, though:
Though how can you look into my vacant eyes
And stomach the sounds of my final breath
As my collapsed lungs struggle to cry out
For it was you who brought me to my bitter end.
To me it just screams of heart ache and it's beautiful. Thank you for entering.
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