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vote

This city grinds gritty spittle riddled with pity.
savor the flavor of saliva arrival,
tongue sprung licking pickled sticky lungs,
clung to far flung run amok bucks,
so,
shucks folks,
slowly unrobe some scapegoats.
Use the skin to make coats
till the ballot box is raped by votes.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Lute
    September 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    it might help if the ballot box was raped by jokes,
    since votes don't seem to matter that much any more.

    might not need:
    some egg yolks,

    read as,
    shucks folks
    slowly unrobing scapegoats. (skinning might go better with your next line.)

    Excellent use of sound in this one.


    • Springheel
      September 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the suggestion. I had trouble with that line, really, because it sounds good, of course, but its um. cough. meaningless. cough. I never noticed that the poem would still work without it.


  • j-ay rose
    September 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    lol


  • LittleC68916
    September 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    ummmmm

    I don't know.. I must be stupid, I don't know what it means.


  • Klayer
    September 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very lovly poem. Thanks for sharing

    Df, 14

1 - 6 of 6