He squatted nearly naked
beside the muddy edges of the lake;
a strand of nylon ringed his finger
and disappeared into clear water.
His hair lay streaked, his back and arms
streaked with dust.
Sneakers, unlaced and slit at the back,
threatened to slip
into the bearded sedges.
As he squatted, dirty trunks
(once white as the sneakers,
ripped up the sides
and fraying)
pulled along his spine,
revealing a tan line.
He squatted there, unmoving,
even when mosquitoes settled on his shoulders
and pricked tough flesh;
even when flies buzzed tangled hair
and sweaty cheeks.
Then, with a single motion,
he jerked the line
and landed a ten-inch
slippery
trout.
His gear was a ragged quilt
bundled with twine;
that was all.
If he had other clothes,
I never saw them;
if he had a tent,
camping gear,
canteen or knife,
I never saw them.
He squatted for hours,
nearly naked, dusty,
at the lake's edge,
not noting even my reflection in the water
as I marched off that afternoon
following my troop to my next
pre-arranged, sterile campsite,
and nearly overbalanced on the log bridge
when my Everest pack shifted
unaccountably.
A contest entry
- No Pretense by JustBe.
1107 points, ended October 13, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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PLEASE do not remove your entry. I do plan to give you quality commentary, and I am sorry it has taken me this long. to even say this much. This is easily the hardest contest I have judged, if you did not win, then that means only just slightly more than nothing, as far as this judge is concerned.
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Yes, this works...the imagery in my mind's eye caught it. lol good luck in the contest. My father's a fisherman and this piece touched me. lol
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This is a complex character study, rich with imagery yet leaving many questions unanswered, but that adds to the charm of this poem for it forces the reader to ponder the scene and consider some possibilities. This dedicated angler is a mystery. Well done!
Dennis
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Thank you. It's one of those I'm not too sure of myself...except for the juxtapositions of attitudes toward nature and freedom.
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