Please possess my shattered dreams
And fly them far from here
Take the tattered, tortured bits
But take me with you too
Show me into silver streams
In the new final frontier
Teach me tales our world omits
We'll make plans we'll pursue
I'll wait for you, you're in my dreams
I'll wait until you're here
I'll wait until our world's in bits,
My wait is overdue
Author notes
Lol. I tried to put some alliterations in there.
A contest entry
- I just love alliteration by heygoo.
900 points, ended September 14, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I like how the alliteration does not overpower your poem. I was going to say the 2nd stanza is my favorite, then no the 1st, but really I like the 3rd just as well. So I guess I just like the whole poem.
-
Your use of alliteration is extremely good! Subtle and blends in, You used it without losing the meaning of the poem and that's what counts to me. The message is sad and forlorn. Best wishes in the contest, this should do well.
-
-
Thank you so much for commenting, I'm glad you liked it.
-
Adding your comment:
