...from the gray book we transcribe
that the third supposition says finally
from now on nothing will be like her.
and her look which will be infinite
where loss will be written, thus read:
I, a movement as indistinct of heresy
between the meditation of breath
floats into the mirror "precisely”
the value ensues from the razor bank
i.e. sharp hidden away stored
images hopping on the tips of ganglia.
These are blank words.
breaking. wrought in vast void of synapse
a soliloquy of delights until vision descends
more labored breath until she blends
the darkness with light unwinds the thought
mixed with the seminal secretions a primal semen,
sentience lapping the faint scent of the Other.
Finally, within Music, a rest. Cacophony. A full stop.
A rage of light between neuron, the word sinks melts
infinite and indistinct, malodorous,
unique.
Author notes
mediosyncrosity
melding of media, yeh, yeh, I made it up, I think
In a list
A contest entry
- In Dreams...... by Suzanne Dia.
1000 points, ended October 1, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This was certainly different and you have a magnificent grasp on metaphor and language. I think you should do well in this contest. Well done and good luck in the contest.
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God damn it Lute, every one of your poems drives me crazy. First of all this poem starts out with a Preamble like songwriters used to do with a beginning stanza that sets the song up? Am I right there? So my question is: instead of a short preamble, you give us a mystifying preamble? I must split my screen and find out what the grey book is and the third supposition. Is this Koan, encounter discourse? You taught me South Mountain (thank you) but write to me and tell me what the grey book is please and the third supposition.
Now, Lute, no one writes as well as you when you finally wind out. You are like glass pack mufflers that sound good on the thrust and in the distance rumbling off. So, the second half of the poem is great poetry. We cannot do without you, my friend.
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this is not a translation from absurd
mor elike a transition into it
where absence is the music
absurdity is the key
to make it sound I need to wake
the instinct of futility
the words are just gray
matter
p.s.
my brain is stupid too
but i'm smarter than my brain
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this is extremely strong, the first stanza in particular is outstanding...
wonderful work...
al
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So I hate quoting lines but...
I, a movement as indistinct of heresy
between the meditation of breath
floats into the mirror "precisely”
the value ensues from the razor bank
i.e. sharp hidden away stored
images hopping on the tips of ganglia.
These are blank words.
There is something infinitely profound in that breath, and the way you culminate the lines with the blank words. Just perfect. Why is it many of us (I am at fault) feel the more words the better? I swear I write because I am trying to prove something to the adjectives.
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I almost wish blends was bends cause then you have unwinding
Also I wonder what breaking would look like alone on a line with the rest on the next (event breaking all the way right -- does that make sense? anyway i'm sure the form is the form you want it in -- just that my eyes saw something like that.
I keep reading the first three lines over and over again -- it is like we are at an important meeting where this important statement has been read for the first time into law. Actually that whole first stanza is like that.
This about the shadow that is Poetry. It is quite damn good actually. It is very experimental but seems so very natural - you might be light years ahead of the rest of us you know.
I suggest you continue to pursue the art - don't stop writing.
How's West Virginia doing by and by?
Lisa
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woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I don't know what it means, cause my brain is stupid, but it was awesoommeeee........i think.
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very good
a trip, for sure -
hey hey hey...why is it that the picture i get is only sex...was looking for spiritual...lol
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i remember leaving a really erudite and profound comment here earlier, i remember how pleased i was with myself, how elevated and lofty my praise of this amazing poem was, how - uh, oh crap, i forget now what the hell i said - but it was good, honest....stupid AP deleted it, and it was not all that vulgar.
blessings and best wishes,
~richard
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pphhhhfftt my comment got eaten by the AP cookie monster.... grrrrrr
well, you know i like dis one... cause I like mixed media.. i use it in my own attempts at art... as it reminds me of when i was taught in college... (great time for me)
the mixing of things.. to make it new.. yes
make it into something more, than what it was...
i think i made all this up in my head now
lololol
but i like it
carry on stirring the pot, it's good soup
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