I need this man, this man in my life
more than he will ever know.
I constantly streach for his approval
but my trying can't make it so.
One look from his crystal eyes so peircing
can send me soaring or crashing down.
It takes only one word from him
to render me prostrate on the ground.
I know I can never make him truly happy
it's one of my biggest heartaches.
He deserves so much more than me.
He deserves more than the heartbreak
I bring him on a daily basis.
Never satisfying my end of the deal
To be the wife and lover he deserves
My pretending can't make it real.
So I continue on with this hopeless charade
always giving him second best.
Knowing he will never leave me
but that just leaves me to continualy guess.
If there is another, an affair of the heart
One who has captured his attention.
Does he think of her when he's with me?
Does he long for one he's forgotten to mention?
I'll never know if I can trust his declarations of love,
If I truly have his heart for life.
His eyes seem to tell a different tale,
One of patient endurace, of heartache, of strife.
I want him to touch me, to make me feel alive again.
I long to be a priority in his world.
But I wait in the shadows and long for his acceptance
knowing I'll never be what he truly wants me to be.
Author notes
this was written during a difficult period in my marriage. I struggled with the question of whether my husband stayed with me because he really loved me or only because he had made a commitment. Thankfully, he loves me.
Type 9 - committed love
A contest entry
- The Form of Love by Perfectly Imperfect.
450 points, ended January 4, 2008, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Gone Awry by SatanicTemptation09.
800 points, ended February 12, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Beautiful Work, love this part:
I'll never know if I can trust his declarations of love,
If I truly have his heart for life.
His eyes seem to tell a different tale,
One of patient endurace, of heartache, of strife.
I want him to touch me, to make me feel alive again.
I long to be a priority in his world.
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very nice
nice write....im glad ever thing worked out for you..thank you for entering my contest. -
The way the stanzas were written only enhanced this poem. The pain can be felt, as well as the confusion. Waiting in the shadows after already being "commited" to that person is deifnitely love gone awry. After reading the poem the title made complete sense, and I find that the title was actually quite unique and went extremely well with the poem itself.
I especially liked:
I need this man, this man in my life
more than he will ever know.
I constantly streach for his approval
but my trying can't make it so
Thank you for entering -
The title confused me, ture love and commitment go hand in hand from my experience. The poem is good, just the title is a little odd to me. This pain is hard and tells a sad story. :
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'I long to be a priority in his world.
But I wait in the shadows and long for his acceptance
knowing I'll never be what he truly wants me to be.'
Visible heartache and fluent phrasing.
Thanks for entering,
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Very great poem
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very cute, well done and thankyou for entering my contest
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truly touching, i know the feeling... thanks for entering the contest
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Very wonderful and beautiful poem. Thank you for entering the contest and good luck.
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Humble verse of feeling inadequate ,yet love never truely feels secure and does feel a sense of self doubt. Enjoyable reading. Thank you for your entry.
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Words can't express how this made me feel. Best of luck.
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oh I loved this piece. Such a heartfelt piece. I don't think there's really anything wrong with this. I loved the whole thing of you knowing that you don't give him 100%. perhaps it's because you don't know how. I don't know but I loved this. Very touching. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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thanks for entering!
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this is a wonderful write
"So I continue on with this hopeless charade
always giving him second best
knowing he will never leave me
but that just leaves me to continualy guess
if there is another, an affair of the heart
one who has captured his attention
Does he think of her when he's with me?
does he long for one he's forgotten to mention"
I love the emotion here and I thank you for entering though the option that fits this write is #3 not #2, 2 has to deal with babies and 3 is about love but its ok -
I love this.. Not exactly what I was originally looking for, but it is something I can relate to very much, and is definitely a finalist.
"So I continue on with this hopeless charade
always giving him second best
knowing he will never leave me
but that just leaves me to continualy guess
if there is another, an affair of the heart
one who has captured his attention
Does he think of her when he's with me?
does he long for one he's forgotten to mention"
Those lines struck a chord in me. I like what you've expressed with this
Well done and thank you for entering x
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Lovly wright. Liked it very mutch
DF, 14
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