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watch

 

 

 

 

 

 

its body cold
to the touch

two arms
now motionless

black leather band
rotted and stiff

kept in grandpa's
back pocket

when he buried seed
in the ground

walked narrow rows
of basil and sage

sang rossini
in long shadow sun

mindful of everything
but time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

1 - 38 of 38
  • pithyaplomb
    November 16, 2007
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    a poem of the very fortunate


  • Lj-
    November 8, 2007
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    I really loved the imagery and atmosphere of this piece.

    Awesome poem.


  • Sedasia
    November 5, 2007

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    Pictures

    Again, with this one you paint a picture. I can almost smell the air, see the air particles moving in the beams of sunlight around him as he strolls..

    There's a rich aroma to this. Loved it.


  • katfair
    October 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply


    thank you for offering a grandfather for me to have in a few
    precious lines of assured poetry

    I was not close to any grandfather
    and claim this moment of yours
    for my own imagination


    kat

  • monimac
    October 26, 2007

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    This one must have slipped past while I was transitioning back to AP.

    I love poems about grandparents, dead and alive, and you've gotten a peek into my grandpa... I appreciate the peek into yours.

    Excellent, as always.

  • Catressa gold member
    October 17, 2007

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    chicken.. fried chicken to be exact reminds me of my Grandfather.. It is wonderfully sad and poetic the things that catch us off guard..


  • Namita silver member
    October 14, 2007

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    Awesome write. There are often so many sounds and smells that bring back memories. Good poetry.

    ~KK

  • truembrace
    October 6, 2007

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    there is an art to the lines with keeping them succinct. with such a style in writing, I always feel as though there is a traditional "Eastern" feel to the verses. We receive what we need to walk away with the strongest of images and not a letter/ word wasted.

    when poetry attaches to us to some memory of the poet - really the world opens up to a sort of comfortable intimacy/personal thoughts that we are fortunate to share.


  • Kevin Moderators member
    October 2, 2007
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    beautiful, but a bit cold feeling. 'mindful of everything but time' bothered me, as one of the principles of thoreau et all is to be less mindful of it, or more, but more is less... anyways, beautiful metaphors with 'buried seed'. The two line stanzas felt short, but effective.

  • Swan song gold member
    October 2, 2007
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    This is truly awesome.


  • jantastic gold member
    September 30, 2007
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    yes


  • Lanternhearted
    September 29, 2007
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    Feels good.

  • ellipsist
    September 29, 2007

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    wonderful... love the scents and images

    brought to life in this piece... beautiful... that closing couplet is stunning, a perfect ending to this piece


  • misselaineous gold member
    September 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply

  • celadia
    September 19, 2007
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    Lovely

    YOu said so much in so little.

  • sociaL IntollErance
    September 17, 2007
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    the imagery is great i really felt like i can see him planting


  • Grunts Girl
    September 17, 2007

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    I never had the chance to know my grandfather.. he was killed in ww2. He was a fighter pilot... and though there are no smells i can be familiar with... there are images..

    there are others though... that smell reminds me of... most are alive and I like that idea right now...

    i need to stay in the world of the living at the moment LOL... there is a guy at the station that wears a very distinct after shave... most of the time our station smells of sweaty old ass due to the three holding cells before shits get transfered.... however, i hear the door open and about 3 min... his smell moves into the sgts office...
    with out looking I yell... HEY LESTER... and i hear him laugh.

    but he worries me... smell gives away our position tactically, this is why i dont wear perfume to work...when we clear a building... i would rather not give away my position with my scent... and I always worry about Lester.

    I liked where you took me in this... and I liked how you made me feel reading about an open window into a relative of yours...
    I like it when you share little bits


  • Emerald13
    September 15, 2007

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    oh .... great poetry Al ... intelligent, warm, loving, well constructed ... a sadness in the analogies and personification of the ol d watch and the deceased wearer ... just lovely ! >>> Gina


  • catz Moderators member
    September 15, 2007

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    My grandfather had a pocket watch which he always carried in his pocket, too. Your poem reminds me so much of him. It brought back sweet memories of him in his stripped bib overalls, pocket watch chain barely hanging from his watch pocket. I can see him as though he is standing in front of me now

    Your poem is poinantly reminiscent of the days I spent with him on my grandparents farm and the fragrance of the alfalfa field. Thank you for this

    Dee

  • K-Dense
    September 15, 2007

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    Damn.

    Check out my piece "For My Father's Father, Who Passed Away Four Years Before I Was Born"

    -C

  • Redstormy gold member
    September 14, 2007

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    I love this

    My grandfather did very much the same thing,
    he was s farmer. This poem made me miss him
    and I read love between the lines.


  • ParadoxFry
    September 14, 2007

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    Really amazing. It's so simple yet poinient. I love those times that time can just slip away, and you don't notice... and it doesn't matter. It's also a beautiful homage to your granpa, and whomever else you may be remembering.


  • Rowan gold member
    September 14, 2007

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    My grandfather always smelled of Black Cat tobacco and old Spice..lol.
    I love poetry that brings back a moment. Thank you.


  • Nicolette gold member
    September 14, 2007

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    This is wonderful poetry, Al...proof that the sense of smell or someone smell stays the longest in the memory. Such a wonderful peace here...simply beautiful.

    ~ Nicolette


  • ardentMarch gold member
    September 14, 2007

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    "mindful of everything
    but time"

    yes, working in the garden does that...this is great, your poems are so visual, I love all the double meanings in the first half of the poem and the ending is so beautiful


  • mantis180
    September 13, 2007
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    This is beautiful AJ. Very sweet.


  • Jersene silver member
    September 13, 2007

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    You give the reader a wonderful, vivid picture of a man who you were obviously very close to. Lovely poetry, and a beautiful tribute!

  • grm
    September 13, 2007

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    my grandfather, on my mother's side, was Sicilian, but he smelled like welding and iron...which was the business he owned...making ornamental porch railings and whatnot.
    he also gave me my first drink one Christmas when trying to talk me into being Santa Claus for the family gathering. i think i was 15 or 16. i put on the costume and completed the ceremony, but i'm sure i was mumbling and leaning sideways the whole time...

    odd, how grandfathers always seem to be so much greater than fathers in memory.

    thanks for reminding me.
    i miss him, too.


  • butterflywriter silver member
    September 13, 2007
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    absolutely beautiful tribute...


  • April Renee
    September 13, 2007

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    i like this. i especially enjoyed the difference(s) between the watch (time) and your grandfather. very nicely penned. simple but lots of meaning and feeling. enjoyed.

    blu

  • Arzab
    September 13, 2007

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    Wonderful write. I think it's very true that some things in life, whether it's a song, a smell or something we see in life that someone in our lives who has since passed on, we are reminded of them. This piece was a beautiful tribute.


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    September 13, 2007

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    You honor him.... with this ..

    the details must be like crystal in your mind.. honed to just those specific points that sing.. because this reads as if it was chiseled out of air..


  • Cat gold member
    September 13, 2007

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    i absolutely love the second half of this in combination with the title- i love the line "mindful of everything but time"- and the singing.. your words brought
    the singing clearly- i am
    imagining the final scenes
    of marlon brando - in the garden


    i love this piece
    and the scents and sounds it presents- you say so much

    and besides that.. there is a new al poem to digest!
    m


  • liltandrhyme silver member
    September 13, 2007

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    This is a great tribute, the final two stanzas paint a picture of a wonderful and much-loved character, who enjoyed life to the full.

    'as he buried seed in the ground' was a very poignant metaphor.

    You managed to inject imagery, scent and sound into this piece Al, as well as a great lyrical flow - no mean feat.

    Kudos on a marvelous and heartfelt write.

    PJ


  • NurseChilly gold member
    September 13, 2007

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    it's Coty Laimont talc with my Gran... that and dettol... damn that woman, and her dettol... lololol

    it was like her version of bleach ...

    but yes, i know what you mean about smells and memories

    this is very good Al... very good


  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    September 13, 2007

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    And as affirmation of good poetry, maybe not everytime, but now sometimes when I smell it ..so will I.



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