the stratopause was a whispering gallery
where the sun screeched and tipped
sideways in suicide
like a martini glass dancing by the edge
of a crystal table
she slipped and spilt
pretty angst
in the clouds like war-paint
or mascara of a girl who’d never slept enough
but peeled paint from the library-hush
as she laughed at reality
Author notes
picture inspired.
whispering gallery (noun)
-- a gallery or dome with acoustic properties such that a faint sound may be heard around its entire circumference.
In a list
A contest entry
- Quickie Quest ~ Prewrite Party 2 by Namita.
300 points, ended October 6, 2007, 95 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Capture Me With Your Title by The Void.
421 points, ended September 25, 2007, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
critique welcome.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
that was a beautiful structured poem, the metaphors nicely place, and made us think just the right amount,great write
-
I commented once.
Can't again Hannah dear.
Luv,
~Candy
-
Laughing at reality is good. Two words there I have no idea of. I'm too lazy to look them up. Nice write... succint and sharp.
-
Such gorgeous imagery! I love the image of a martini glass, which is lovely in its simplicity! also, the masscara and paint and sleep comparison simply wowed me.
-
the stratopause was a whispering gallery
where the sun screeched and tipped
sideways in suicide" I totally love that!!
I also really like the line "but peeled paint from the library-hush".
You can create such strong, powerful visual images in few words.
Awesome job doll!
-
What a picture's painted, well done.
-
Wonderful! Nicely done as Tim said. Great write and good luck in my contest, dear.
Candy
-
Nice,
Wow, great job with this picture inspired piece. I enjoyed this, for you had it detailed out with imagery. Keep up the great works, and all the best in the contest, peace, poeticweaver.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
