They had the kind of love everyone dreams of
Sixty years ago when they both were young.
And love had never played a sweeter melody
Than the one that their two young hearts sung.
They fit together perfectly, like puzzle pieces,
Each one of them making the other one whole.
Their love could not have been any stronger.
It was all-consuming. Body, heart and soul.
He spoiled her rotten and she spoiled him back.
Shakespeare couldn’t have written it better.
But now he was gone and she sat by herself
Reading an ancient, yellow, faded love letter.
He had held on to life for as long as he could
But at eighty-five, his tired body finally failed
Yet she remembered the love letter so clearly,
It was as if only yesterday, it had been mailed.
“How can I go on without him,” she thought,
“After having him so close for so many years?”
And the letter which once made her so happy
Now received her hopeless, desperate tears.
“Come on, old girl,” she thought. “Stop carrying on.
You can cry an ocean but it won’t bring him back.”
So she went outside. It was a bright, beautiful day
But the blue sky above may as well have been black.
They had always enjoyed tending the garden together
In their wind-tossed cottage at the edge of the sand
But now the wilted flowers looked just like she felt.
She said, “You know. Don’t you? You understand.”
She walked through the garden, dying all around her,
Which had once been so colorful, so vibrant and bold,
Nurtured as it was by their great love and happiness.
Now, it just looked sad, like her, and very, very old.
Some life was still left in the garden, as there was in her.
She thought, “If it dies, it will be like he never existed.
He was so proud of this old garden. I can't just let it die.”
So she worked in the garden, for the first time unassisted.
In no time, the garden was in bloom, flourishing again.
Color burst forth everywhere. Not one corner was dim.
In fact, the old garden seemed more beautiful than ever
For it was a tribute and a testimony to her love for him.
And for a few days, her old heart felt a little bit lighter.
She looked up and said, “Look, dear. This is for you.”
It was good therapy to bring it all back to life again
But when she was done, she didn’t know what else to do.
So she kept working but the sadness returned to her heart.
She pictured her husband, as in the past, working nearby,
How he would make little jokes and compliment her work.
Overwhelmed by the sorrow and silence, she started to cry.
She thought, “Oh, my love. How can I live without you?
I wish we both could have died that day at the same time.
Nothing makes any sense anymore now that you’re gone.
And not even this garden has any reason or rhyme.”
And at that moment, she felt a tiny sting on her finger.
It didn’t hurt much at first but the pain gradually grew.
In fact, the more time passed, the more it hurt her
Until it was the most terrible pain that she ever knew.
She looked all around, trying to find what had stung her
And saw a strange spider crawling in the dirt nearby.
She recognized it right away as a deadly brown recluse
And she knew without help that she would surely die.
She felt the venom starting to course through her body.
Her vision became blurry and her legs became weak.
For an awful moment, she thought, “So what if I die?
Why go on living when my future seems so bleak?”
So she slowly laid back and rested her head in the flowers.
She watched the white clouds galloping across the blue sky.
The first stars of the evening were beginning to shimmer.
She prayed, “Forgive me, Lord. I know it’s wrong not to try.”
“Please take me to him. I know he must be up there with you.
All this beauty means nothing to me without him to share it.
There’s not much life left in this broken down body anyway
And I can’t face another day alone, Lord. I just can’t bear it.”
The next morning, a passing neighbor found her laying there.
Then the police came and the coroner scribbled in his chart
That the cause of death was a bite from a venomous spider
But those who loved her knew - she died of a broken heart.
In a list
A contest entry
- Break My Heart by Theactoffailing.
375 points, ended September 14, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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A wonderful story poem I often thought that couple who have spent so much time together should die together.
My dear wife died recently after 36 years together and i have to say that if she thought that i would give up would have gone crazy.I know look back on wonderful times and know that in would have expected the same of her.
I have to say though the way your excellent piece worked out was the only way it could A real joy to have read
I guess i will be dropping by on a more regular basis
know that i will be well entertained Thank you
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Legend,
Thank you and sorry to hear about your wife's passing. The fact that you write such inspirational poetry and have such a positive outlook is a true testimony to the power of the human spirit.
Re. a couple who has been together for so long dying together, or one after the other, I don't think the woman in this poem is particularly wise because, in a perfect world, people would live a more full life because of the influence of the one they lost, and to fulfill their wishes, not lie down and die next to them. Unfortunately, that's often what happens. It seems people can't figure out what their place in life is, or what life means at all, when the person who helped define it for them is gone. People die of broken hearts all the time. The heart just gives out under its own weight. And they're all put under the general heading of "natural causes."
Thanks again. Take care,
Mark
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That was great...! I loved that write so much!! congrat on the sivler trophy...that was awesome...thats one of the best writes I have read since I joined AP...thanks for sharing
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Oh why do I read sad poems!!!
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This is sad, too too sad, but very beautiful also, I am at a loss for words on this, it is excellent, nuff said.
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Very nice indeed. I really liked this one alot.
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wow
This poem made me cry..yet it is a great write indeed...your a fantastic poet,,
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Thanks, Marcie. I appreciate that (and sorry for making you cry.)
Mark
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By the comments you are a much loved individual who writes equally loved verse - similar to he who shall not be named lest I be banned again by humourless moderators. There are a couple of technical things, read this back with a metronome and iron out some of the meter that is not wrong per se, but cane be smoothed through word choices through out the entire line. This is a little too "Daisy a day" for my taste but on the other hand, that song still gives me a tear, so what can I tell you- I am really made of mush
David -
Aw, this poem is bittersweet... Their love for each other is so strong, yet she doesn't know what to do without him.This is such a beautiful piece...In today's society, I think that many people believe that this kind of love is only in stories...I know that it's real though. And, my great grandma died a couple months after my great grandpa; we all know it was because of a broken heart.
Anyway, this is such a wonderful piece. It's so heartfelt and full of emotions, that I think anyone who reads this would be touched.
Congrats on your silver,
-Kaitlyn
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I watched a similar love, and felt how excruciatingly abandoned she felt when he died. My aunt said, to me one day, her green eyes welling with pain, "He always said we would go together!" She survived him a while longer, but I inherited a painting of two seagulls winging closely over green waters. He had painted them, and she pointed to the larger bird, "This one is daddy..." then to the smaller, "this one is me.
One morning, she gently closed her eyes and simply left us.
I haven't put the painting up, but today I think I will. Their love is around me, but I miss them still. ~K
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I never thought I'd understand this... to love so completely that you'd just rather not go on without the other... I was lucky enough to glimpse it. I did not take hold of it and carry it in my heart, but I did have a pretty good look and I can tell you, losing that kind of love, is life changing. I can only imagine that after so many years and so many shared things- that your souls are so completely entertwined- how do you let go without losing so much of yourself? This is beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time. Thank you for this lovely story- and for making us think- and maybe even dream a little.
x
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Wow!! This had me in tears and I'm a firm believer that one can grieve to death from a broken heart or (the lost of a love one)that goes for animals as well.
Tonya Turner -
Wow!! This had me in tears and I'm a firm believer that one can grieve to death from a broken heart or (the lost of a love one)that goes for animals as well.
Tonya Turner
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Genius!
This is so emotionally charged! I could feel the broken-heartedness of this woman left alone to grieve her husband's loss. I could feel her will to honor her husband with the garden's re-splendor! I can also relate to that not being enough to feel so alone and giving up on going on. Brilliant as always, Mark.
Too often, your work leaves me misty eyed and drawn in to experience the sadness and the joy you easily convey in your writings.
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This was a pleasure to read through teary eyes. I have known quite a few elderly couples who die simply months from another, I say when one dies, part of the other dies as well, as in true love, we complete each other. Such a romantic and clever tale. Nice to read something new by you, as always!
blessings,
Michelle
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Thanks, Michelle. You're right - it's a real phenomena. My wife's grandmother died one year to the day after her grandfather died, which is too much to be coincidence. People do die of broken hearts.
Thanks for stopping by. It's always a pleasure to hear from you.
Mark
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Very sad and touching. It has been said that two people who spend a lifetime together, usually die very close together. And they all say the same thing, they died of a broken heart. great write. congrats on silver.
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That was the most touching story I have ever read, and I am so grateful to you for sharing it. I could picture myself 70 years from now, being that woman...
you did an excellent job. -
this is so sad. full of emotion. i can identify with it though. i imagine my grandmother died of a broken heart after my grandpa died as well. brilliant work!
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Wow, your an orsome poet, it brought tears to my eye it really did. (normally it would have made me feel for her but lately everything makes me cry on here like this kind of poem) Maybe life would be so much better with out hearts so much pain would not happen. Well i though it was a fab piece of writing. The best bits it where you get in side her though with you saying what she has said. I have'nt got a frav line, it's all wounderful. Well good luck with any of your other poems, your a great writer.
Good luck and have a nice day.
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very good
a wonderful tale
you should put it to script
it is really a sort of historical piece
as those days are long gone
true love, family, ma and pa, a simple life
as i grew up,
lots of the older guys married their high school sweethearts
occasionally, i see one of them today
tehy are grandfathers, retired,
like you describe
"tending garden, each day their love still growing"
with my group, along came the beatles, make love not war, vietnam, etc
so
i sense your longing for days past
i was a bit bemused with the spider thing
but
you handled it beautifully
i sense you either grew up like this,
or you know someone, married neighbors, etc
that you drew your theme from
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"They fit together perfectly, like puzzle pieces,
Each one of them making the other one whole.
Their love could not have been any stronger.
It was all consuming. Body, heart and soul."
i want love like this...i guess i should tell you that i am crying.....i started when i read this part...
"Please take me to him. I know he must be up there with you.
All this beauty means nothing to me without him to share it.
There’s not much life left in this broken down body anyway
And I can’t face another day alone, Lord. I just can’t bear it.”
I just...you did vary good with this poem!!!!!!!
Thank you for letting me read this!
Diamond -
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Thanks, Diamond. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate your kind words. Sorry for making you cry.
Mark
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This is really long and I have such a short attention span, but I hung in and read it all because it just held me and I had to read it through. Broken hearts...such a sad thing and the thing that poetry is made of.
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This is such a heart breaking write..
I'm not sure what of this makes me feel more sorrow, the thought of her loosing him...or the thought of her laying in the garden that they both loved so much,praying to god to be returned to him...sighs..
A beautifully written piece..Only in true love would a lady plant a garden as a reminder of him..
~A~
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I had to come back
I wanted to make the journey a second time... and this time with the love you had in mind. I was married for 25 years and three days short, we departed forever. Now the tears are avoided only by being clever. That garden needs tending now that she is gone, some weeding by another enjoying this poetic song. This is Gold in my humble opinion.... -
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Thanks again, Chuck. 25 years is still a success story in today's world. I hope you have a lot of happy memories, and I hope you create many more with someone new. You're a great guy in every way and you deserve it.
Mark
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Excellent
This is an excellent story.
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wow. this was wounderful and sad. great imagery and wording and i love that the background and picture work well with the poem. great write!
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this is truly an inspiring story. Awesome.
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FAB!
but i doubt whether these days, in busy city life, within competitive careers and personal preferences, such love stories/couples exist for so long together..
A
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Thanks, Ankeeta.
I hope this kind of love still exists somewhere, but I agree it is becoming more and more uncommon. The sexual revolution ruined everything for both sexes. Women have lost the power they had to control men's lower impulses, and men are able to remain perpetual adolescents for life because there are always plenty of women willing to give everything away for nothing. The result is a lot of sad, lonely, old people who valued quantity over quality, and flings over building one great love. We're too easily bored these days, too, which leads to all kinds of problems.
Mark
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The write has crystal clear imagery,the full gammut of emotions and a smooth,faultless rhythm.A tender and touching tale,the old-fashioned love lost to the lady was endearing and her penultimate show of strength of tending to the garden alone was inspirational.Even her choice not to seek medical attention was heart-rendering.The title is effective but surely the writer should add a disclaimer for after reading the reader feels as if another part of her heart is broken,though this is fictional I have admired this old-fashioned love and oh that it existed in todays fast-food take-away view of love,disguised as lust,such is the realization of the change that even book sales of mills and boon changed their old fashioned sweet romances for raunchy intimacy,but I digress,bravo.
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Magnificent just as Soulful Woman said. This is such a wonderful tale. You sure do know how to spin a poetic yarn. Great job.
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What a magnificent story. Such an old love story. With so much going on in the world today, very few can know this type of love. We are so caught up in careers, and sometimes forget the greatest gift we can give ourselves.
To love and be loved in return.
Beautifully written.
Soulful Woman
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phew.
Heart wrenching. (In the best way possible.)
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Can words describe....
...the feelings your poem brings inside. How can I compliment such a soul rendering write. One that is written in imagery so bright. Your mind displays for those who read a cornucopia of written flower seeds. Roses and violets with poppies and strawberries that thrive in your prose. So beautiful, God knows.
Keep writing my friend, keep inspiring those who know...
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Chuck,
I'm overwhelmed by your response to this poem. You know how much respect I have for you, I hope, so the fact that you enjoyed it so much means a lot to me. Thank you, my friend.
Mark
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Have you noticed old people are easy to break hearts with? haha, sorry. It was unbelievable. Difficult to write, perfect flow, lengthy is always a plus, it had everything. ESPECIALLY the point of the contest. It was so sad. great story, it had everything. I think you wrote it after reading my example poem, they were quite similar, but you did it so much better. Plus yours rhymed. Definitely in the finals, great work.
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Thanks very much for the kind words. I actually had the idea for this poem about a year ago but your contest gave me a good excuse to write it. Could you give me the link to the example poem you referred to? I didn't see it and I would like to see how similar they are. There may be something mysterious going on here if they are very much alike, as you say, because for the life of me, I can't find the link you're referring to on the contest page. (Insert Twilight Zone music here. lol)
I think you're right about older folks dying of broken hearts more often than young ones. The younger we are, the more life is ahead and the more options we have, so we can pull ourselves together and move on, but when someone loses the love of their life after sixty years, they often don't last much longer themselves. It shouldn't be that way, I suppose. People should always move on, be committed to life while there's still life left to live, but the heart and the mind don't always cooperate with each other. My parents are getting older and I see it all the time with their married friends. If one of them dies, the other often follows soon afterward, as if trying to find them. It's very sad, and common.
Thanks again,
Mark
P.S. I just did a few minor edits on the poem so please trash the old version if you printed it out.
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Well you made me cry you jerk... This is so beautiful I tell ya, eighty percent of my bookmarking are probably your poems that have touched me deeply, and this will go into them.
I believe this is the most beautiful poem that I have read this past week. Its flawless and the judge would be crazy not to give you gold. You amaze me with your work but then again, you're MARK RICKERBY, pretty much the greatest writer alive!!!
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"The greatest writer alive"? Wow, why don't you give me a bigger title to live up to? No pressure or anything. lol Thanks, Sara. Sorry for making you cry. I can't say it wasn't my intention because it was. It is a "sad poetry" contest, after all! Reader beware. Thanks.
Love,
Uncle Mark
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