I'm just laying here on my bed
Waiting for sleep to take me away.
I think she's avoiding me,
Sleep I mean.
I mean she's avoiding me too but,
I'm not going to think about that right now.
I'm trying to go to sleep.
Why is she avoiding me?
No I'm not talking about sleep.
But really what did I do?
I just wanted to be with her
She makes the whole world brighter.
So why wouldn't I want to hold her?
Whats wrong with loving someone
And wanting to be with them?
Maybe she just isn't ready for it.
Then when is she going to be ready?
It hurts so bad just waiting.
I'm not going to think about it.
I'll just wait here for sleep.
She'll probably come around sooner or later.
Why is she taking so long?
Author notes
nostalgic night
A contest entry
- From prompt to poetry by FindingFaith.
600 points, ended October 5, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I love how you intertwined the missing "her" and "sleep". I simply loved it. I've had those nights myself and I assure you it does hurt to wait, but we know that everything works for the good of those who were called according to His purpose and I am sure you were called.
Therefore even if she isn't the right one for you I am more than sure that God will give someone better or her, we will only see won't we?
..Simply Me♥
God Bless. -
Thank you for the entry. It seems as if you were having one of those nights many of us has had. Sometimes we can feel avoided by many things. God Bless...
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great write if a little choppy and the flow is a little meh...u know man, also you spelled lying wrong theres the correct spelling, but over all a great poem.
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It's hard to know which poems are real and which are imagined. For me this one translates as real, since I know the feelings of it all too well. Empathy is found in poetry. The switching between talking about sleep as a persona, and talking about the girl "she" is very meaningful. Almost like a cause and effect kind of emotion. I really connected with this piece.
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Liked how you wove in and out with and without sleep in these lines - nostagic night is a good prompt and you interpreted this well in these lines - liked the flow and the repetition of the word sleep in the poem. Easy to read and understand.
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