Trembling slightly, I walked toward her light
Those blue flaming stars which had shown so bright
With beautiful, quivering, silver wings
With a soft timid voice, her shattered heart sings
"Run away fast" it cries in a tune
"For I will just scare you away very soon"
But with her voice, how could I leave?
She is the miracle that I beleive
I know of the sorrow that lies in her song
For she has been suffering for far too long
She's been torn and tattered, beaten and used
Like a poor helpless animal, she's been abused
I beg to come closer, I beg her to let me
I beg her to stay here and never forget me
With her solace which I seek,
I shall take a step and speak
"Hush now darling, you shall be
Forever without pain, you see
Please don't stray your eyes from me
I'll free you from this misery"
I listen to the sound of sadness
I hear her drowning in her madness
Just a glance, and I can tell
That she's been stuck in a circular hell
Her worn-out soul grew up too fast
It flies within a broken past
And I could swear she is worthwhile
If only I could see a smile
I beg to come closer, I beg her to let me
I beg her to stay here and never forget me
With her solace which I seek,
I shall take a step and speak
"Hush now darling, you shall be
Forever without pain, you see
Please don't stray your eyes from me
I'll bring you to serenity"
Author notes
September 12, 2007.... This is about my girlfriend. She's beautiful, but she's had the worst past of anyone I know. She's been hurt over and over again and she's frightened the same will happen with me. I wrote this to let her know that I'll never ever hurt her and she doesn't have to be afraid.
_______________________________________________________
For your contest:
I'll be whatever you want me to be. My name is Amanda and I am 17 years old. I have an amazing girlfriend and I love writing and drawing!
A contest entry
- LOVE!!!! by Wind of Darkness.
350 points, ended September 17, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything You Want. by ShadowsDream.
550 points, ended September 18, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and Everything by californiagirl.
300 points, ended September 20, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - From the heart... by Irish Fang.
600 points, ended May 10, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just a little by Scented kiss.
300 points, ended April 23, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Gee I know that felling I've also been hurt over and over by my family and ex if you like friends. found it best to cut them out completely. It's taken me 5 years to see my partners not going to hurt me.
Your poem is very beautiful and supportive I hope she sees that you won't hurt her but healing does take some time.
all the best in my contest and thank you for entering
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Great poem!
You are seriously a gifted writer, and you're only 16 years old? That's awesome! I'm 15 and I can't even write as good as you but I love writing anyways. You're a really good writer and in this piece of poetry, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to read more. I hope you continue to write and grow into an even better writer. Very good work.
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This is such a sweet piece that you wrote. Thank you for your entry!
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Go read the contest rules... then resubmit...
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that poem s amazing and i flows really weel. your a great writer and you can tell alot of thought and effort went into this piece. well done on an amazing write.
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omg i cried
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I must say i was challenged to continue reading this wonderful piece. At first i could only relate to the group name as if u were staring at someone freaked out n telling him that u know what he's been through.... u know like staring at ppl just to freak them out... but it turned outso true that it really amazedmeto c how much u two are connected...u managed to express her through u...
"Hush now darling, you shall be
Forever without pain, you see
Please don't stray your eyes from me
I'll bring you to serenity"
AMZINGly done
keep on feeling....
u had a slip on believe in the 2nd stanza, last line. lol
PEACE
********JOWELL********
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Excellent! Very emotional. Love it.
I wish the both of you lot of happiness in the future. And I hope your girlfriend will be able to move on forward despite her past.
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This was so beatiful and so powerful.
Your dedication to your friend is as wonderful as your heart.
She should consider herself lucky to have a friend like you.
I hope she finds redemption and love through you, as you help to convince her that you want to help.
Let her read this, she will understand.
Take care to the both of you.
Keep smiling even though it hurts.
Love and Light.
~Raven Tears~
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You put an emotion into this poem that cannot be rivaled. It is a moving peice that warms the soul, and fills the heart. I see those eyes that hurt, and I too want to help. I loved it my friend.
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well done
i can feel the emotion - but also a touch of darkness - but that is life - with the light comes the darkness - i am alot like ur girlfriend - its hard to overcome all that & let someone in - she is lucky to have you
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A poem I relate too
By the time i met my girlfriend, 7 years ago, I was afraid of letting anyone close, I didn't trust myself or even believe anymore. Her patience and love won through!
ever happiness to both of you!!
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wow great write i could feel the emotion and love in your words, well done
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that poems rock
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aww =] that is the most sweetest and beautiful poem i have ever read. honestly. i cant think of anything to say because this is just so amazing, i loved the poem so much.
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Great write!
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i think this is a really beautiful poem. awesome write.
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This is really sweet. It is. I really hope she understands....and that she knows that she is not alone.
Aden
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Thats really pretty and i like dit alot,good job
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beautiful
im actually at a loss for words, that is so beauitful, im sure she loved or will love it. its really sweet. im actually crying. because ive been hurt to, and my one boyfriend basically told me the same, that he would never hurt me, and that i didnt have to be afriad, and then he told me to cut myself and bleed to death, and that he would kill me, and then he hit me. but in no means do i think that you will ever do that to her. its quite odvious in this write, about how mucb you care for her. and i just wish that i had had someone like that. this is truely beauitful, shes very lucky to have you.
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I'm really sorry about your boyfriend... he's a fuckin loser... I'm glad you liked my poem. Thank you very much for commenting!
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i loved it
good luck in the contest -
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I noticed you said the exact same thing to every other person who entered. You must have some damn good entries
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This is an awesome write, I love the imagery it creates and I only stumbled on the flow a couple of times. But this comes from the heart and that's what matters. the spot I am talking about though :
With her solace which I seek,
I shall take a step and speak
I kind of had to stop and re-say it in my head for both times it came up, other than that I am sorry to hear she experienced such a past and I hope she pulls through. My deepest sympathies.
~WindsAngel~
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This a very sweet poem, she's lucky to have you as a friend and more,takes a lot to mend the wounds created by someones past, great write
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