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darkened neighbour

 







i didn't think you wanted joy.
i didn't know, i didn't dilate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you didn't bring a gift.

i think i may have missed the point

in loving one
at all. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

but i didn't know,

i couldn't know to dilate. 

 

 

 

 


 

 

Author notes

You may pick it a part, but I want no suggestions. This isn't meant to be the next best thing. That's all.

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Dragons Lady
    September 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting. I love the way you have spread the words out. So many ways to interpret this. I'm sure you have your own. Well done.


  • RachelSchuyler
    September 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is insanely awesome. it challenged my ability to follow, and i like that when reading.


  • Hadji Murad
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very different, and epically profound in a way which I can't describe. It's abstract and beautiful, unclear but ambiguously so. The reader can interpret this in so many ways, and yet none seem to do this justice because it's so profoundly unclear. The concept of dilating is striking and definitely leaves the reader with a sense of emptiness, wondering what occurred, and trying to fathom this poem...but it can't be done. It's profound. This reminds me of something in the MOMA. It may be a line or something, but it's just so simple and yet has so many deeper meanings, and it's astounding.

    I adore this.


  • calendar girl
    September 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    it's very different. me like.


  • neon nightmares
    September 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm. I think this may be the only piece by you that has managed to confuse me.
    Meby its a good thing. I dunno.
    Good work??
    anyway, keep it up.
    hugs
    xxxx

  • Cinnarry gold member
    September 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A cataclysmic meandering in seconds of notice...good for you


  • natari
    September 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    awesome and totally screwing with my mind.LOL
    Helen


  • Freestyle Bushido
    September 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is fucking brilliant in my opinion. I love vagueness of this poem it really let's the reader ponder the deeper meaning behind the simplicity of this piece. Truly and awsome piece.

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    September 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Babe, you alright?


  • spine
    September 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    no suggestions, only awe

    the vagueness of this, the simplicity is beautiful.
    this could describe a million different situations.

    stark pain.

    I love how you aren't writing to an audience and create for yourself, which is becoming rarer and rarer.

    I love all of your pieces.
    including this one.

    simply brilliant.

    • marrow
      September 12, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much. I agree with what you say about writing for others. I feel I tend to do that far too much, and was just itching today to ignore every bit of what may make a decent write and just be truthful. I may have meandered in the middle, but it's that beginning that I mean the most.

      Thank you very much, again. I love your stuff, so I'm honored.
      Justin


      • spine
        September 12, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        No problem.
        I always enjoy reading what you write.
        And you're too kind, honestly.

1 - 15 of 15