beautiful Rose paints her tresses
in black- unique in her bed of buds. address
the Distinction- bears semblance to all-
she tumbles alone- to join in their fall.
dark eyes mark the windows of Souls
in distress- they poison their Vessel to
kill what is left. believe the mirage- control
is at stake as they wonder, just how much will you
let them take? ever reluctant- the hostage
resists- a fallible front if love's Courage
persists.
Author notes
It's about how young peope today are falling into serious trouble...
In a list
A contest entry
- ANYTHING! by Beating.
1300 points, ended September 13, 2007, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please Be Honest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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As always, this is so beautiful! you could read it a hundred times, and it would still be differnt and unique! I love it!
i miss you so much! hope to hear from you soon!
love always
Alex!
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ALEX!!! Hey! I saw your sister and your mom yesterday!! Wished you were there...
How the hell are you?????
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Interesting .
My first impression is I have read and reread this but still don't get this. Emotionally this leaves me a little confused. I find if I read this in different segments than you have written it it makes better sense to me. For me to read it as it is written it is awkward, I would break the lines into smaller segments. The title must have meaning for you but eludes me. The first line works well with this and the last line sums this up just fine. I don't have a favorite part. -
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Thank you for your input.
That's what I was afraid of... I guess I have to decide... I mean to me this poem is perfect- and maybe I have written this poem for myself- that would be okay. I don't think I really WANT to change it... but the reason I featured this poem was to get a little feedback as to whether or not the audience could follow without knowing what I was writing about.
Thanks for commenting.
Stephi
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Beautiful
You're poetry has really come a long way, babes! Either your message in the poem is slapping me in the face and I don't realize it or you've hidden it away behind your eloquent language. Either way I'm picking my brain to decide who is being represented as the Hostage.
I'm in awe. Bravo.
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Thanks!
Yea... seems like noone gets it... I mean I get it, and if you knew who I wrote it about you'd get it... I think I'm gonna promote it so I can get more reads... want to see if my poetry comes across to others, or if it's only good to ME. LOL.
It's my first in a LONG time tho!
Stephi
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Very nice, Trin...
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very very beutifully written. your use of sound is awe-inspiring. i love the structure: the similarity of the first to stanza's structures follows by the connected couplet. the true rhyme of the couplet didn't flow as well as the rest to me but thats just personal opinion. great poem.
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Thank you. I changed the last lines.. you were right... I didn't like them either, they were too easy... would you mind reading it again and telling me what you think?
Stephi
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simply amazing. i love it.
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