‘Everything is just fine; you don’t have to be afraid
….Daddy is here…’
I know my eyes betrayed my fear,
I wanted to be so strong,
for you and only you,
You whispered so tenderly and quietly,
I did not notice the pain in your voice…
No, not at first.
I wanted so much to believe you,
to listen to your clear voice as you said those things,
My heart was beating, pounding inside of my head,
and I could only agree with you,
I was safe beside you.
‘Are you hurt, Baby? It’s alright you can breathe
…Daddy is here…’
It felt like days, months, that we rested there,
as the skies wept, and the clouds swirled in dismay,
but you never let go of me.
Held me so close to your body,
I could smell your cologne and the iron of your blood,
and as you spoke I heard the agony that you swallowed down,
I wanted to tell you, I knew,
I was afraid, terrified that should I say anything,
I would lose you, I would be alone.
You smiled reassuringly and blood slowly oozed out of the corner of your mouth
– I do not think you noticed it,
Panic hit me so hard; I was dazed and disoriented,
and yet you saw it and only whispered that it was all okay,
We were okay, and I did not have to be afraid.
But I was so horribly afraid as you shifted,
I could hear the wheezing of your lungs,
it seemed to mock every word you spoke,
calling you a liar,
Yes, Daddy, you lied…
‘Help will come soon, not much longer now
…Daddy is here…’
I remember when your teeth began to chatter,
it was so cold and with each breath you could take,
you breathed a soft cloud of smoke –
it was how I knew you were still alive.
We talked for hours, about every thing, any thing,
as long as it kept us awake,
I asked you how bad it was –
– “It does not hurt so much” and you smiled,
I did not say it then,
But, Daddy you were dying,
and I lied to you and I lied to myself,
telling us it would be okay,
it wasn’t,
And your smile is burned right into my memory…
Author notes
I do not really have any thing to say which is shocking, I know.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this piece simply says LOVE. it cries out the love father had for his child and the love the child had for him.each trying to protect and shield the other. it is so heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. it is an amazing write.
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Hi, thank you so much for commenting on a few pieces and on my author page as well. This is an autobiographical write; one very personal to me in that it is the poetic release of how I lost my father. I am glad you enjoyed the pieces.
Yes, I am a new mother again. My young daughter and my newborn son are really the greatest treasures of my life.
I will be sure to check out some of your writing as soon as I can. I'm hosting a contest on this site also so that is taking up some time.
- Katrina
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i.... just omg....i want to cry!!!!!!! this is amazing! i wonder what happed to make the child and father in the place were they are at.....but its just so deep. the fact that the father was there the whole time for her is what is touching. he knew what was happening and yet he just wanted her to be happy...
i really love this..thank you for letting us read it!
Diamond
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The next piece I am posting once I finish explains what happened...and the child I should probably explain is me. The next few pieces I am posting are all surrounding the death of my father, so if you are interested, check back within the next few days. I don't really feel like getting into it all at the moment.
Thank you so much for you kind comments and I scanned your author page and I'm very sorry for your loss (yes, I realize the cliche that everyone says that but I have lost a baby before so I can understand the pain)
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Aw, Honey!!! I hate to say I love this piece but I do, you have a great way of making words breathe and come to life with emotion. I know how much you need to write this stuff around this time and I'm glad you are. Never lose the good memories though!!
He's such a great man, full of pure love and I have no doubt that is he intensely proud of you for everything you have done in your life so far. He loves you! And so do I 
I miss you tons and I'm going to try to write more and get a few pieces of different stories posted or at least - something! I love you soooooooooo much!!
love,
Alexis
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this was great
i am extremely judgemental and conceited and i think i can do anything but this was amazing wayy beyond anything i expected from anyone including myself kudos plus some
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Thank you for the kind comments, jj91.
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