Thinly stalked stripes bow gently
as the wind tousles their hair
making a wave ripple through,
barely showing it was there.
The grasses gently ebb
as does the rolling tide;
creating a gentle peace
as they sway side to side.
Rustling their sweet music
in a meadow serenade,
the wind hums along with them
as the outdoor lights fade.
Author notes
This is for option number one. I love long prairie grass, and how it moves with the wind. It almost feels like there's a connection with the ocean.
A contest entry
- Have Fun! Be Creative! Be Inspired! by Ammon.
1800 points, ended September 17, 2007, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Outstanding
This has a very light tone and I loved the way you created a natural scene with the ocean breathing in the background and the grasses being swayed by the breeze. I liked the overall sesne of peace and tranquility. Brilliant to read.
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awsome
Love the rhyme, and time, it's perfect. the feeling is definately there. Great write friend.
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Very mellow.It sways. I think I heard that old screen door slam on that beautiful open field. Good job!
BLESSINGS ALWAYS,
LOWELL POE. -
This is exceedingly relaxing! Awwhh! I could truly feel the beautiful peacfulness in this poem! You did such a great job. I'm glad to see you are inspired by nature. I really have nothing to critique in this; Except that you have such deep seperate thoughts, I recommend placing grammer in certain areas to keep them seperate. The flow was beautiful. Very good job and good luck in my contest!
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Thank you for the comment; I'm glad you liked it. I'm still rather infantile in my poetry. I am working on improving. Thank you so much for the insight.
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liked the metaphor in these lines - the vivid visual images these words bring to mind. Easy to read and understand what has been shared here.
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Very...
pleasant, soothing and restful, grassy waves. I would have liked this poem to go on a bit longer, it was so good to read. Good write. WASP.
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awww, this is sweet.
nice write
hugs
xxxx -
I have seen that too, it does look like ocean waves - an appropriate metaphor. This is lovely imagery, with a serene rhythm. Good poem!
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what a wonderfull wright. Sutch great imigery
DF, 14
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