You cheated on me again
What did I do wrong
You hit me again
I can still taste the blood
You kicked me again
just another bruise
You yelled at me again
the headache is back
You say sorry again
big deal you always do
You hold me close again
I feel nothing anymore
I walk away for good
you beg me to stay
I dont look back
you sit in sorrow
A contest entry
- Grieving (Round 2 – Invite Only) by Beating.
450 points, ended December 14, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I think this is a good piece, but you could definitely make it even better. More description and imagery could make it such a strong and sad piece. Still, the way you build this up is very good. Made it flow really good.
Btw - put your AP screen name in your author notes! -
i think you need to describe things more... imagery is our friend
this poem didnt make me feel anything and in my opinion your suppose to.
not saying your a bad poet! i like your other poems so dont be mad
for all i know you wanted it this way -
i love this its deep and dark i can relate i felt the same wit the last guy i dated my favorite lines was...
You say sorry again
big deal you always do
You hold me close again
I feel nothing anymore
I walk away for good
you beg me to stay
I dont look back
you sit in sorrow
nice job of describing an every day thing for some people i love it keep it up
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awww i love how you show your feelings and i know how you feel same here girl =[ well anyway great job<3
my favorite part was You hold me close again
I feel nothing anymore
I walk away for good
you beg me to stay
I dont look back
you sit in sorrow
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i like it
it is really good i really need to write more. i think this is one of my favorites!! but we need to never let this happen to either of us!!ok luv ya
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i like this, i mean that you did a good job on this it was strong nd the ending was something i wish always happened in real life, keep it flowing
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Its true
its great. keep it up
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