autumn would have clung to the trees like gilt
or wrinkled her toes in the wind
like clouds pegged out on a clothesline
willing to brave the weather--
she would have painted the pumpkins with passion
or tickled the sky a violent magenta
singing for leaves to dance
like rhythmic gymnasts with her--
but autumn lived in america
and said she’d visit me next year.
Author notes
yeah..
A contest entry
- Free Fall by Peteskid.
700 points, ended September 12, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie Quest ~ Prewrite Party 2 by Namita.
300 points, ended October 6, 2007, 95 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES ALLOWED!! Twisted,Strange, Break-Ups, New Love.. by Stripes.
300 points, ended October 26, 2007, 48 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
critique welcome.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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very beautiful seasonal poem amazingly written fantastic images
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awww this very sweet poem..i really like it.
thanks for entering. -
Oh My! This was superb. I loved it. Once again, let me introduce to you all, HANNAH!
Luv,
~Candy
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a free verse style here, economy of words, well done, and several images are woven into a good narration. The play on names is good, a youthful point of view here, very appealing. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK
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Ooh, I really like this, especially the suprise ending with autumn being an actual girl.
My favorite lines are: "or wrinkled her toes in the wind
like clouds pegged out on a clothesline" and "autumn would have clung to the trees like gilt". but by gilt do you mean guilt, or something else? lol sorry
Great poem, good luck in the contest!
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Thanks for yet another lovely comment! Much appreciated.
Yes, I did mean gilt - it's like a thin layer of gold or gold paint, but I also like the way it's reminiscent of guilt.
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