My new place
It’s mine
The refrigerator in it is mine
as is the washing machine and dryer
I love that it’s mine
I love that it has a dishwasher
a patio
a sliding glass door
central air conditioning
and new carpet
But you’re not there
We used to sit on a big green couch
and play video games
We used to take showers together
and use St. Ives body soap
I’d run my fingers through your hair
And kiss your long neck
We used to go out to dinner
and sit on the same side of the booth
You would order whatever had
the most meat
I would order something new
but eat most of your food
Then I’d smoke a cigarette
in my car
on the way home
And you would eat gummy bears
When we went to bed
(with nine pillows)
I would hold your arm
just to be touching you
These are things I’ll miss because
These are things I loved
Author notes
I wrote this for a poetry writing class I'm in, and she doesn't want us to write rhyming poems... at least not yet. I don't know if she ever will.
The assignment was to write something concrete.
*background by a-bear
In a list
A contest entry
- make me feel something. by aanika.
1003 points, ended July 20, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please try to be positive
Comments
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Liked the flow of these lines and the brevity of the thoughts in each - lots of things you used to do but no more, cause there is now only one where before there were two. Enjoyed the poem.
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wow yeah liked this, the beautiful moments that are captured truly represent apart of your soul and the ways in which your two chi patterns made love in the moments, and although sad i liked the way you presented the clear canvas of the future at the start would represent the pattern of your soul finding itself... i like free verse poems more than rhyme for they give more room to explore the true meanings of poetry which i think is to explore the depths of the spirit, as you can become so possessed with ideas of structure to miss the true muse, your own personal 'style' and what it might show you in chaos...
anyheys thanks for sharing these wonderful moments,
w pairs and custard -jas
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I prefer it when poems don't rhyme :] A lot of people try to rhyme their poetry and it ends up sounding forced..the meter will be off... I like raw, unbrideled emotions -- much like your poem conveyed.
When my boyfriend and I go out, we sit in the same side of the booth too..and use St Ives..and play video games. One of the most important (to myself that is) aspects of poetry is that someone else can feel connected to your feelings as well..and you did this, you did it well. Thank you for sharing :] You should write some more!
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