In the face of your fantasies
I become an unwanted reality
Too much of actual
Too less of supernatural
You wish I could control your thoughts
With a gesture
Made with
M.i.l.k.y.
White
Skin
& Look at my golden tan
In [disgust]
I shove my heart into your arms
Through
the
M.i.s.t.r.u.s.t.
& Shed crimson tears
As you see it bleeds
& Isn’t the shaft point
Tipping
Cupid’s
Arrow
You look on stoically
An Egyptian pharaoh
Headdress pure white
Mocking my lost innocence
Erasing my benevolence
Casting
Me
A.s.i.d.e.
I
Hold
On for my life
The tightness in my chest
An anchor
Weighing me down
The fragility of my position
Almost lost in my ignorance
Until I release you
My reach
Not close enough
To keep my sanity
& I fall
Waterlogged
Into heartbreak
Because
I couldn’t
Be your
Anything....
Author notes
danceswsquirrels
In a list
A contest entry
- . by Aurora Ceres.
700 points, ended November 1, 2007, 75 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Pretty Contest by Innocent Evil.
700 points, ended January 5, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
You can say it... but I might fling poo at you.. ::eyes shift left to right::
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
LMFAO leave it to you to do something like this.
this was well penned my friend. actually enjoyed this.
best wishes to you in 2008
tory
-
good job!
-
I love the spacing, how the whole thing isn't just aligned together; it really helps the feel of the poem. Beautifully written.
The one thing I don't like is the random brackets around words, and the ones with periods between every letter. I'm sure they're there for a reason, but I'm not partial to it. Otherwise, though, very lovely poem. -
This is wonderful. I really love it. I love the emotion in your writing. I really like how your writing doesn't sound cliche. The flow is great. This is really amazing.
-
gosh, this is great!!!
I l-l-loved this part:
"To keep my sanity
& I fall
Waterlogged
Into heartbreak
Because
I couldn’t
Be your
Anything.... " -
Wow this one is awesome! I loved the style and flow of it! I'm jealous of this piece, cause I could not pull this one off. Loved these lines "You look on stoically
An Egyptian pharaoh
Headdress pure white
Mocking my lost innocence
Erasing my benevolence
Casting
Me
A.s.i.d.e." This was filled with imagery. Great write!
Bella -
This is a really cool piece, I think the spiral form of the stanzas makes it read well, and gives it an interesting look, as it mimics the spiraling down of the character, great write! don't see anything wrong with it personally
-
You are tooooo much!
I actually laughed out loud when I read 'I might fling poo at you', and got some 'I'm nuts' looks from across the room. Anyway, to the poetry.
The image is brilliantly done and the shaping works really well, even if it doesn't have a specific purpose. Well done. Best of luck in the contest!
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
