Time slinking by-
like all others-
you had to die-
There's not a *-
thing i can do-
i'm stuck here-
without you.
Pain-
it's reality-
hurt-
but no fatality-
It's over-
but just begun-
My soul is ole-
yet i am young-
Suffering had
been such bad weather-
Stuck without a jacket,
without us together-
But life goes on-
whether to be for good or bad-
but i'll always remember you
and the love (for me) you had.
Author notes
Just a poem- i suppose. Bout my mom. Died from Cancer, march 20th 2007.
A contest entry
- TEARS OF LOSS by Moons Lunar Angel.
445 points, ended September 19, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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"There's not a *-" - I do not understand the * <--.
Hyphens are sometimes used in place of the em dash, which means that the next line is a change in thought, but, most if not all of your lines aren't changes of thought, so I do not understand the use of the hyphen.
Other than that: a nice poem that you have written here.
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Beautiful words and such a heartfelt write. "Stuch" should be "stuck" I am so sorry for your loss! I think you should change "u" to "you," if you typed it out in other portions of the poem, why not the end? Thanks for sharing this with us
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thats beautiful. you are mourning her loss but not lost in mourning, vwery heartfelt, very nice job^^
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Amazing
I love this! Beautyful words and rhyme. Jane
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It's a terrible thing to lose someone you love dearly to cancer for everyone around this person also suffers. This piece is beautifully written and I see hope peeking out through each line
Remember what you had with your mother and cherish it, she'll always live in your heart.
Thankyou for sharing this with us.
Lil
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thanks for sharing the memory of your mother with us. Good luck
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I think you have meant "stuck" in line 18.
For me, using "u" instead of you takes a little bit of something away. But I hate chatspeak even in chat, so its no surprise. And, you only used it once so its something.
I do like this, though. I also lost someone to cancer. Its a very painful experience, and writing is very therapeutic. I'm glad you have an outlet. -
Thankyou for entering your piece, I will comment on each towards or after the contest closes. Best of luck to all. Moons Lunar Angel
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