Jumbled around
Tossed to and fro
My body descends
Through the sea below
I looked at the waves
And crashed through the breeze
And entered the sea
The beautiful sea
And sunk to the bottom
Like a rock or a stone
And ended the torment
That whispers and grows
And let it die there
Awash by the waves
Into the sea
The beautiful sea.
Author notes
Option three
A contest entry
- Whatever The Hell You Want To Enter [please read the first line] by Nam.
425 points, ended October 21, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blank Cheque by sca.
777 points, ended November 1, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Prewrite by Heavenly Angel.
450 points, ended December 8, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can you keep my attention from the first few lines? [p/w allowed] by LeilaJayne.
300 points, ended May 12, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions Crying Out {Options} by newnoakua.
550 points, ended June 16, 2008, 92 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I enjoyed reading this Good Job!!
~Ocean~ -
beautiful piece! Wonderful imagery and it was detailed nicely. Just a great piece!
Great work and good luck in the contest! -
this piece reminds me of Blue October's song "Into The Ocean"
great use of imagery. very detailed.
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Very Evocative
I like the way your repetition suggests the sea's repeated movement washing away sorrow into something bigger and more beautiful.
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Wonderful
Very well done. a very creative poem.
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Nicely done
Thank you so much for sharing and for being a part of the contest!
The best of luck to you -
This is beautiful. The sea so much mystery and intrigue.
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I love it
I really love it, I like repetition too.
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Nicely written, and despite what the contest holder says, sometimes I like repetition, it works for me, it worked for Poe, who is this guy to say any different?
Bless you...Scott
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A bit repetitious, the length of it cuts it a bit, I felt it could have been shorter, in such regard.
Other than that: a nice poem that you have written here.
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This poem is awash in rich, descriptive images. Good Job!
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Beautiful
U did a wonderful job on dis peom way to go keep da ink flowin. you expressed this poem well and it told a story..
The beautiful sea
And sunk to the bottom
Like a rock or a stone
And ended the torment
That whispers and grows
And let it die there
Awash by the waves
Into the sea
The beautiful sea.
I enjoyed readin this poem that u have written.. U have beautiful talent..
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1 - 12 of 12
