There was always a difference
between sitting for an artist
and posing for a lover;
for the lover might see beyond.
The privacy of thoughts
seemed to be exposed
and form mattered little;
she felt naked in ways unknown before
for the woman within came under his gaze
her thoughts were on his brush.
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture Inspired PIF - 10 Lines by AliceinPoetryLand.
700 points, ended September 11, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie Quest ~ Prewrite Party 2 by Namita.
300 points, ended October 6, 2007, 95 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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I like the deep thoughts that linger in the simplicity of the construction of this piece.
The more you read, the more you get.
Succinct, and brilliant.
Thanks for sharing,
HENSLEY
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yes
You can certainly write,I have been reading many of the titles you have placed upon this site,and decided to comment upon this piece. The comment is simply,wow,I like it, and the other simple comment is , Wow,I wish I could write as well as you. -
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Thank you Cazzy-
you picked one of my favorites too...thank you for your comments and lovely words, so very much appreciated, i hope you will drop by again...PK
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Stopping by on your page, and the title caught my eye, and the poem is stunning..Such perception beyond the visual comes to play in your lines...such truth an stunning words to capture our attention! Worthy of the Gold you received!
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Well done, friend. I take it you're an artist as well... You captured what painting, posing, and intimacy can be about with these things.
Write on. One.
Dez -
Perfect
This is quietly romantic. I love the overall feeling it portrays and the truth behind it is stunning. I think I'll poke around your page & see what other treasures are here. Thanks for sharing.
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This is beautiful. Like seeing someone for the first time all over again, on a much deeper, more meaningful level.
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Good job on this one too.
I don't think I remember ever seeing one of your poems without a trophy. Not a bad habit to have I'd say. -
wow.. I'm at a lose for words.. All I can think of is beautiful.. The way you write seems so peaceful yet full of many emotions.. Great write.
Peace to you, J. -
That is what lovers do, they see beyond all layers when they use their right eyes. A naked woman she'll always be for him.
Wonderful poem
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I like the thought of defining the difference between exposing yourself to someone who will create art based on the obvious, the curve of your hips... the color of your eyes... as opposed to a lover looking at the same body and seeing so much more, deeper...
I have something like this. If I find it I'll send you a link. I love this =)
Criss -
Incredible. YOu definately have a way with words. You had me at, 'Hello'. The first stanza flowed smoothly in the the second and the ending tied it all up in a pretty little bow. Write on.
Dez
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what a poem this is... amazing...
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Wow, such a beautiful poem from such a different outlook
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This reminds me of Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes when Ralf Hart said to Maria "You have a glow about you. The light that comes from sheer willpower, the light of someonewho has made important sacrifices in the name of things she thinks are important. It's in your eyes - the light is in your eyes... I want you however you want to be wanted." Despite her resolution, a woman is still a woman in her lover's eyes - naked and I think that is the greatest strength a woman possesses. This is wonderful Mr. Pk. Cheers!
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Thank you Rhona-
that is truly beautiful; you have an amazing sense of insight...thank you so much...Pk
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Ah truly beautiful piece this..
It is true, sometimes under a lovers gaze, you are more naked then you ever thought you could be-
Simply stunning PK
jess-x
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Thanks Jess
for your kind words, this is one that pleased me too... it is wonderful to hear from you...PK
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such a true insight in this
not many see that
i think that's why when a friend or lover picks up a camera i am much quicker to hide
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I laughed ...
and perhaps I wasn't supposed to laugh, but this is funny. Society has brainwashed us into being shy and modest, when in reality our natures are not shy -- or modest. Did you ever read "The Naked Ape"? If so, you know what Imean. Anyway, this is a great poem. It would be even more interesting if you wrote about how you would feel being in her place.
That would, undoubtedly, give us a whole new outlook on you and your personality.
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This is so profound! I have read this at least 10 times and my opinion never changes. The connection you have described here must be something. The truly spectacular visual artist sees a beauty that everyone may not see right away but is able to capture it for the rest of the world to see. What you have done here with your poem is just the same . . . he has seen past any protective exterior she thinks she has hidden behind and brought her beauty to the surface . . . so lovely!
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Thank you Lilith
for your wonderful comment, i think you have gotten the ideas that I meant to send to the reader so very well. I deeply appreciate the time you have given to this most thoughtful comment... wonderful to hear from you...PK
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I love your work. I love this piece. I love the depth of feeling and the depth of the difference between one that knows you and one who only paints you. I love the way this flowed and the way it picked me up. It is so true and you have captured it perfectly
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I know something about artist's models so I liked this one, it meant something more, though and i lliked that too.
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since i used to do exactly this (in college) i appreciate your poem very much. Oh, and congrat's on the Gold...not surprising with such a lovely write.
Lane
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So so beautiful and thought-provoking as Laura said... beautiful and simple. Love the elegance.
Luv,
~Candy
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Thank you Candy
this is an honor ...such a big contest... Thank you for your contest and your kind words; and the honor of the Emerald Cup...PK
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Not sure how I missed this...a thought-provoking piece indeed, I love the last couplet. Congrats on the Gold! Thanks for sharing. La x
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woah, beautiful poem you have here! Nicely written
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Oh my what a beautifully poignant write. It is truly wonderful. Thanks so much for your gorgeous entry.
Gaylene
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Thank you Gaylene
thank you so much for your contests, your most kind and generous words, and the honor of Gold...PK [will PIF]
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Oh, this totally rocks. The contrast is superb and absolutely speak of truth and an intimate reality. I love how you got inside this woman's mind so delicately. Beautifully done!!! I just love it.
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beautifully written good luck in the contest
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Seems to be from two points of views: the artist, and the voyeur. It reads a bit wordy but even though I think that I feel it's fine the way it is. Especially when one line that seems more than it should is picked up by the following line that seems to be carrying it to the end. So, even though I think that, it doesn't seem to matter in the great scheme of the piece.
A good piece here.
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Thank you Nam
a quik write can still be excellent with enough effort, so your comment is most welcome...PK
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Shades of Robert Graves' "The Naked and the Nude," without the satiric bite. this one is gentle, graceful, and just as meaningful.
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