It had the tattered reel feel
of what I'm supposed to fear;
Serated rage that cut me clear
from waist to throat and ear to ear...
The primal force of hatred
turned me cold as blood would boil
As I bathed in self indulgence
while her body bathed in soil.
This entrancing, vacant vessel
stared right into me
as if to see
my stained and poisoned mental.
reflecting every memory
in the sharp end of my metal.
And every single scream
would travel through my spine and seer.
My clothes turned red, my sight went clear
her voice would fade and disappear...
The primal force of pain
would leave me opening my wounds,
turning thoughts into my weapons
turning basements into tombs,
carving names of my disciples
in the corners of these rooms.
This was the tattered reel feel
of what I'm supposed to fear;
awaiting rage to cut me free
from this disturbed reality.
A contest entry
- Sick and Twisted 7 by Acidanthra.
700 points, ended September 12, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I feel it was too short. I was so interested in it, then it ended.
I absolutely loved the mental game it played throughout the write, as well as the physical aspects. More gore, more gore... just a little more? LOL
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You want more, you get more. Hope this is what you're looking for.
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yeah, much better!!
\m/ Rock on!!
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W00T
THIS LINE/paragraph i mean, IS THE BEST:
"It had the tattered reel feel
of what I'm supposed to fear;
Serated rage that cut me clear
from waist to throat and ear to ear..."
I LOVE THIS! A VERY WELL WRITTEN PIECE
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