Tears roll down my face,
Mascara bleeding.
I pace this empty room
Wanting to be elsewhere.
I gaze into the mirror
The ugly facade of myself,
Torture and pain are all I see
In these bloodshot eyes
I look away,
Then back, punching it
Breaking it into
A million little shards
You think I'm
Going to run away
Like I've done all my life
You are DEAD wrong!
I have taken all I can
I'm standing here,
ready for a fight
Victory will soon be mine
You may have won this fight,
But the war is only begun.
You have messed with the bull,
Now you're getting the horns
I'm coming at you
FULL FORCE!
I'm not stopping,
No, not for ANYTHING!
I will have victory!
I WILL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH!
Author notes
ok, this is something I had written a little while ago... only I just redid it and made it sound better... and made it longer. hah. hope you like.
A contest entry
- Your Best Prewrite 3 by Heavenly Angel.
475 points, ended December 12, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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A++
Now, this is very powerful, strong, soulful, descriptive, the imagery was amazing, and fierce. It's as if you got ready to yell at what you were fighting against.
"I will have victory!
I will have the last laugh!"
If we were characters in a book, and your character said this, just like this, to my character, the one in whom you were fighting, it would strike fear within me. After all I've done, she is still here to fight me, and, may very well, beat me.
You have penned an excellent write here. I love freewrites, and this one flows. Very excellently penned.
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I like the pacing here. From subtle to fierce, good flow.
It's quite cliche, though but the poem is raw so good job
This really shows the emotions of the persona; nice piece, all in all. -
Wow, this was awesome! Just so in your face & powerful & raw. We need more true emotion poems like this one, you did a great job. Keep writing!!
x
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Thanks I appreciate your kind words!
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Victory
To overcome our own demons we must seek out victory and you have started on your way young poet. write on -
Victory is power
You start your poem with a crawl and finish with a mad dash for the finish line. That's one way your poem can be described, each stanza more potent then the last. And by the end, the recipient of your poem must be running for cover. A mighty fine write, full of anger and frustration, then the victory. -
Life
Many battles are fought & not all are victorious. You poetic words speak of a lfe hurting. But my dear youn poet never falter . For if you do. You will read my lost words in your psalms
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Pure, unadulterated anger and most powerfully written, too!
Whew!
Well done, poet!
Thank you so much for sharing! I wish you the best! -
Rawr, good anger
I like how the fury escalates in this poem. In the beginning the speaker seems merely distressed, and then comes to some resolve as things pick up.
The imagery in the first and second stanzas is striking. -
Not like the other ones
This poem has a good story but a lack of the poetry devices commonly used like metaphors for example... In themes like this you should really use more literary devices. -
I will have the VICTORY...in YOUR FACE
wow are you in a mood or what lol.
Great This was well penned another good one by you my dear..bravo.
Tory
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