Iron cuts, trees fall.
Wood flames heat the crucible
Dissolving iron.
Author notes
jimmy20johns
A contest entry
- Haiku by Kathraina.
900 points, ended January 5, 42 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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stupendous. love the back and forth of iron cutting down the source of its making.
♥ Kathraina -
That they do. Nice natural piece.
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this is nice. i use to write lots of haiku. from time to time i allow myself to write such again.
my only problem here is the period, i suggest it to be this way:
iron cuts, trees fall,
wood flames heating crucible -
dissolving metals.
my thoughts, your call. i just avoid using the same noun within the same line, stanza or poem.
thanks for sharing and keep writing.
HENSLEY
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Pretty good, I like how you have written this haiku. It's a wonderful image.....
Thank's for entering my contest and good luck! -
A nicely done haiku. I faltered over iron, but indeed it is two syllables so nice job. I like the image it leaves me with.
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I don't have a poem called memories, I don't think.
I like this one... At first it was hard to understand, but I tend to be that way with haikus as they are layed out strangely.
Thanks for entring. -
Iron cuts, tree falls.
Wood flames heat the crucible
Dissolving iron.
Thank you for entering my ku contest. This is well written and paints a very nice picture for the reader. -
wow, pretty intense for a few short words. i myself have never written a haiku, don't know if i could but i enjoyed reading yours
best of luck in the contest. be well and be blessed
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Wonderful, dissolving iron, very powerful. Very strong and heartfelt. Thanks for sharing this with me.
Luv,
~Candy
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this was awesome. i am just getting to learn forms and always amazed how people get so much out of as little words as possible great job here enjoyed ity
Tory -
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Hi Tory. Many thanks. Have you tried the Haiku form yet? Let me know if you do. Cheers, jimmy
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haiku's always amaze me in the way they can get a point across, with only a few words. you've displayed this rather well in this piece! i like the using of the word crucible - where many would use something simple to get their point across you chose something more complex and precise to do it. i'm impressed :] thank you for entering!
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Hi. Thanks for the appreciative comment - really grateful. Good luck with your contest. Cheers, jimmy
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