Clawing the edges, praying for safety,
Pulling at the latches, disembowelled
Your merciless attempts humour me
As your benign fear screams aloud.
Gaze at me unlovingly… unknowingly,
Like you believe I’ll be your rescue.
You thought I was full of glee
But I guess the twist came right on cue.
Amazing how such gleaming hate
Can bring out such uncanny truth.
You pulled your own lever, got your own fate
Who am I to rid you of your youth?
Your pretty little lies stung my heart,
I felt entitled to rip your body apart.
Author notes
PutsABandAidOn
I have released my anguish on "Monday 10th September" at "1.22pm".
VI.
A contest entry
- Release Inner Anguish (ROUND 3) by Dovina.
1150 points, ended September 9, 2008, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your BEST Prewrite! - For Mike [degarmo] - by Never Fall in Love.
950 points, ended October 29, 2007, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites that dont suck. by parachute fog.
400 points, ended October 20, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Very nice poem I enjoyed reading it congrats on the previously won trophys and good luck in this contest this is may favorite part
Amazing how such gleaming hate
Can bring out such uncanny truth.
You pulled your own lever, got your own fate
Who am I to rid you of your youth -
Sweet!
I know I probably will read this a dozen times more before I judge but this is more or less the type of poem that I like to read!
It was well worthy of the bronze trophy above, so congratulations on that.
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
Never ♥ -
Very Nice
Well this is certainly a very well rounded penned poem and I am very impressed by this poem. you have alot of unique methaphors through out and every stanza really added some punch and wallup to the poem. any ways congrats on Bronze in 1 of the contests and Good Luck in the contests. any ways keep on penning away.
Signed, Paul
-
I really liked this. I can feel the anguish being released, especially in your last stanza:
"Your pretty little lies stung my heart,
I felt entitled to rip your body apart."
i know that feeling all too well. Thank you very much for your entry -
wow this is beautifully dark! I loved it!
The dark ones are my faves ummz.. my favourite part of your poem would have to be
'Your pretty little lies stung my heart,
I felt entitled to rip your body apart.' WOW!

-
do u try to be as sad as u can
=[[[[

-
-
No hun, I'm just normal this way. I wrote darker than usual for the contest.
-
-
"Your pretty little lies stung my heart,
I felt entitled to rip your body apart."
Umm, yikers sweety;
Such a brilliant write and good luck in the contest.
I waffles you scruffles and i hope to hell that your sister is ok..
Claire-Anne

1 - 8 of 8









